


Oblivion is Not an Option

by Madalena



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Twelve Olympian Gods
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-06-07 14:47:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 25
Words: 37,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6809752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madalena/pseuds/Madalena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What would you do for the person you loved?</p>
<p>Emma went to the Underworld to fight the god of death for her pirate.</p>
<p>Regina will go to Olympus to take on Zeus himself, if that means she can restore her thief's soul.</p>
<p>Post-5x21 "Last Rites" fix-it. The "Major Character Death" mentioned in warnings is only what is canon, not anyone new. The "Graphic Depictions of Violence" warning doesn't apply to every chapter - in most cases, it won't apply, but some will have this warning. Any chapters with graphic depictions of violence will have it clearly noted in the chapter summary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Olympus

**Author's Note:**

> So there are currently crushed and broken OutlawQueen hearts all around the world. I'm right there with you. I was a mess yesterday, not ashamed to admit it. I tried writing fix-it fic yesterday, but it just wasn't happening, because I was too angry. It was so disrespectful to have Hook come back to life at Robin's casket. That was just wrong.
> 
> But this morning, while walking to work, I was inspired. And what you see here is the beginning. Let me know if you have any ideas or wishes for future chapters :) OutlawQueen lives on in fanfiction!

Zelena had chosen her. But that didn’t make Robin any less dead.

Regina collapsed next to Robin’s body, sobbing, and she felt Zelena come up behind her, hug her, and sob with her. Whether she was sobbing for the loss of Hades, the loss of Robin or Regina’s pain, she didn’t know. But despite the pain in her heart, she was glad that there was someone with her this time.

They sat there, crying, cradling Robin’s body. Regina didn’t know how long they were there. Then there was a clatter in the hallway, and sound of people rushing in, but stopping short at the door.

Regina looked up through her tears, and saw Emma and… Hook? How could that be? He had died. They had left him in the Underworld. But somehow he was back, while Robin was… gone. Oblivion. No afterlife. Fresh sobs threatened to rise up, but she held them back.

“What are you doing here, Miss Swan?” Regina asked crisply.

“The protection spell came down, and then Hook appeared, and we came…” Emma trailed off.

“Hades is dead. Zelena killed him. But not before he obliterated Robin’s soul. He… he was aiming for me. But Robin stepped in front of me… took the hit…” Despite her attempt to clear her emotions, the sobs came back.

Emma crouched down next to her and put a hand on her shoulder. “I’m so sorry Regina. I didn’t intend for this… for any of this… to happen.”

“I’m sorry too.” Hook said. “I never asked for any of this trouble on my account. He was a good man, your majesty, and I grieve for him.”

“How did you come back?” Regina asked, looking up at him. “You died. Your body rotting away up here. You stayed in the Underworld. But somehow you’re here. Standing in front of us now.”

“Zeus. Nice chap. He… I walked into the light, and he was there, meeting me. He said that because I helped defeat Hades, that I could have another go of it.”

“Zeus.” Regina contemplated. “Of course.” She rested Robin’s head back on the ground gently, and crawled over to the pile of ash that used to be Hades. She dug around in the dust, coming up with a piece of the Olympian Crystal.

Regina stood up, holding the Crystal, brushing the remaining ash off of her skirt. Then she looked over at the other three, crowded around Robin’s body.

“I’m going to get Robin back.”

“Regina… you know what that Crystal did.” Zelena said. “What it did to Robin. What it did to Hades. There’s no one to get back.”

“I refuse to believe that.” Regina said, clutching the Crystal. “Oblivion is not an option. If Zeus could bring Hook back, he can bring Robin back. Or at least give him the afterlife he deserves. Robin died for me. He sacrificed himself for me. That’s True Love. And True Love is the most powerful magic of all. Combined with the strength of a god… it could be possible. Robin deserves better than oblivion.”

Emma stood up and walked over to Regina, grabbing her arm. “Regina, listen to yourself. You’re grieving. Why do you think it could work?”

“Hope!” Regina yelled. “That thing your entire insufferable family keeps telling me about. If there’s ever been a time for it, it is now, Miss Swan. Now get out of my way.”

Emma looked uncertain, but didn’t loosen her grip.

Regina softened her voice as she felt hope surging through her veins. “Look, Emma. I taught your mother about True Love. And then I lost it. Then I lost hope, but with your mother’s help I found it again. And True Love. I believed. I believe now. I am not going to lose my second chance. You lost your love. But you held onto hope, you went to the Underworld, you got your pirate back. Now get out of my way and let me find my thief. I’m going to Olympus. I’ll fight Zeus himself if I have to.”

“Fine, then I’m coming with you.” Emma said.

“No. You’re not. This is a one-woman job. You and Zelena can help me preserve Robin’s body, and you maintain the preservation spells until I get back. But I am going alone.”

Regina, Zelena and Emma combined their magic to cast a powerful preservation spell over Robin’s body, and then Regina stepped back, closing her eyes, focusing on the Crystal in her hand.

“So how do you plan to get to Olympus, your majesty?” Hook asked. “Portals to the godly realms are not easy to come by.”

Regina held up the Crystal. “This comes from Olympus. It will be able to open a portal to take me there. Now step back.”

Regina went into the centre of the room, clutching the Crystal in both hands. As she powered up her magic, the Crystal levitated into the air, but then dropped back into her palms.

“I… I don’t understand. That should have worked.” Regina said.

“I’m sorry, Regina.” Emma said. “I really am.”

Zelena stood up and glared at Emma. “Save your sorries. Regina, let me help you. We can open that portal together.”

“If it works, it will take you to Olympus too.”

“As it should. It’s my fault Robin is dead. I believed Hades over my own sister. I shouldn’t have done that. Now my daughter has lost her father. I will be there with you. I understand you don’t want the Saviour to come. But please, let me.” Zelena grabbed Regina’s hand and held it tightly.

Regina swallowed hard and nodded. “Okay. But just us.”

Zelena nodded in agreement, and looked at Emma. “Take care of my daughter? Protect her until we come home?”

“Of course.” Emma said, looking over at the baby. 

Zelena let go of Regina’s hand and went over to her daughter, kissing her on the forehead. “And if we don’t come back… name her Robin. He would have wanted it that way.”

“Take care of Henry.” Regina said. “Tell him I love him.”

“I will.” Emma smiled. “Good luck.”

Regina and Zelena both held onto the Crystal, levitated it into the air, and were then knocked back by the power of the portal opening. They stood up, holding each other’s hands. They cast one glance back at Emma and Hook, and then jumped into the portal together.

* * * * *

Regina and Zelena landed on a marble floor in a sweeping temple. Their arrival startled a young man standing next to what looked like an eternal flame.

“How did you get in here?” He demanded to know. “No living mortals can come to this realm.”

Regina held up the Crystal that had landed in her hand as the portal closed behind them. “This is an Olympian Crystal. It brought us here.”

“Where did you get that?”

“Hades. Who is now dead. He killed my soulmate, my True Love with it. Robin. Obliterated his soul to nothingness. I’m here to bring his soul back.”

“What makes you think Olympus can do that?”

“Robin sacrificed himself for me. That’s what True Love is. Sacrifice. And it is also the most powerful magic of all. I believe that the power of True Love and the power of Zeus combined could restore Robin’s soul. Bring it back from oblivion.”

The man came closer to them, surveying both of the women.

“You love this man. As much as he loved you.”

“With all my heart. I will do whatever it takes to bring his soul back.”

“And what about her?”

“My sister. Zelena. She’s here to help.”

“I killed Hades.” Zelena said.

“We know. We are grateful for that. He had lost his way.”

“So, where can we go to talk to Zeus?” Regina asked. “To see if he can help restore Robin’s soul.”

“It’s not that simple, Regina.” The man said. “Can Zeus do what you ask? Yes he can. But you need to prove yourself first.”

“Tell me what I need to do. I’ll do it.”

“To reach Zeus, you need to go through the other eleven Olympian gods first. Each of them will have a test for you. It will take an incredible strength of will to get through those eleven tasks, as well as the task that Zeus sets before you himself. If you complete all twelve, Zeus will hear your request.”

Regina took a deep breath and nodded. “Where do I start?”

The man waved his hand and a iron-railed gate covered with vines appeared between two of the marble pillars.

“Through there.”

Regina gave Zelena a hug and handed her the Crystal. “Wait here. For as long as it takes.”

Zelena nodded. Regina took another deep breath and stepped towards the gate.

“You can’t go alone.” The man said.

Regina turned back to face him. “What do you mean?”

“Love does not exist in a vacuum. To love truly, to love with the strength that you need for the tasks ahead, you need love with you. Your sister must go with you. If you are pure of intent and open to love, only then will you be able to open that door.”

Zelena took Regina’s hand. “Told you that I needed to come with you on this journey. We can do this.”

With one last look at the man, the sisters walked towards the iron gate. They turned the handle together, and the door opened with a loud vibrating groan, revealing only pure white light beyond.

Zelena looked at her sister. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.” Regina said firmly. "Let's go."

Regina and Zelena stepped into the light, to meet the first task beyond.


	2. Dionysus, Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, uh, this is starting to get real dark real fast. So I've updated the rating to "Mature" and added the tag "Graphic Depictions of Violence" just in case. There isn't anything terrible in this chapter, but the ones to come... won't be pretty. But we weren't expecting this kind of quest to be pretty, were we?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a bit short, but you'll understand why when you get to the end.
> 
> I was looking for music that would be good mood music for writing this fic, and I stumbled across a band whose album is just perfect in its entirety for this fic. So if you've got time, check out a band called Starset, and their album "Transmissions" on YouTube [here](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6BsulcnTjtv3k03say7Z1RjihleUU5nE).
> 
> I'll be starting each god's section (so not necessarily each chapter) with a song lyric from that album that seems particularly appropriate for what will be happening.

_“But then fate knocks me to my knees/And sets new heights beyond my reach/Below the earth, below concrete/The whole world shackled to my feet” - Starset, “Antigravity”_

 

Once the light cleared, Regina and Zelena found themselves in a small forest clearing. The forest reminded Regina somewhat of Storybrooke, of Robin’s camp and their first kiss, which made her heart ache, reminding her of her mission.

“Whose realm do you suppose this is?” Regina asked, now noticing the differences from Storybrooke, the forest denser, more menacing, more threatening.

“How would I know? I grew up in a land with a wizard, not gods. I only knew about Hades because of his reputation.”

“Oh, I’m disappointed.” A voice came from behind them. “I always thought people knew me because of my reputation too.”

The sisters whirled around to find a man, stark naked, lounging on a chaise, eating grapes as he winked at them.

“Dionysus.” Regina said. “Ecstatic revelry, wine-making, fertility… and madness.”

“Guilty as charged.” Dionysus stood up, putting his grapes aside, stalking towards them like a lion on the prowl.

“We’re here to restore my soulmate’s soul.”

“That’s one option.”

“What others are there?” Regina asked.

“Oh, you know…” There was a momentary flash of light, and when she could see again, Regina no longer saw Dionysus, but Robin in his place, naked and resplendent as he had been that night in her vault. She gasped.

“You could just stay here with me.” The voice was Robin’s. He stepped up in Regina’s personal space, not touching her, but she could feel the heat of his body, smell his familiar smell. It was intoxicating. She closed her eyes, willing herself to focus. She knew it couldn’t be him. She knew it wasn’t her Robin. And yet… as his fingers started ghosting down her neck…

“Regina…” Zelena warned.

Regina forced her eyes open and stepped away. “You’re not Robin.”

“But I could be. Think about it, Regina. You could stay here in this magical space and time with me for eternity. We could make love under the stars. Like you were meant to.”

“You’re. Not. Him.” Regina growled, tears threatening to overcome her senses as she stared into Dionysus’ lying eyes behind his Robin mask.

“Pity.” Dionysus said, as he held Regina’s gaze, still wearing Robin’s face. Then his hand shot out and he tapped her lightly on the forehead.

All went black, and Regina collapsed to the ground.

* * * * *

Regina came to in utter blackness. She felt the metal table beneath her shoulders, the straps around her wrists, the cold dank smell of wet metal and fish… and dread took her back to that day on the docks when she had been imprisoned and tortured by Greg Mendell. But wasn’t she in Olympus? Shouldn’t she have been somewhere more… ancient? Or at least medieval?

She heard footsteps and knew she wasn’t alone. Regina was tempted to call out to see who it was… possibly Zelena? Even Dionysus? But she knew from the cold metal digging into her shoulders that she would not be as lucky for it to be one of them. And so she closed her eyes, finding the movement comforting even if it didn’t change her vision at all, and concentrated on why she was there.

_Robin. I want to save Robin. Robin is my soulmate. I am here to save him. Whatever it is, I can handle it. For him. Whoever it is, I can…_

“Hello, Regina.” A female voice said.

_Except maybe her._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... so, who do you think it is? I know, but I'm wondering if you can guess....
> 
> I want to get as many opinions as possible on ideas and directions for this fic, since I really want it to be the S6 that we would want to see. So if you have an opinion or an idea for future chapters, please, leave a comment! I probably won't be able to incorporate all of them, but I'll do what I can, since we in OQ fandom really need this right now.


	3. Dionysus, Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina has a reckoning with someone from her past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope there are plenty of emotions here :)

Regina saw light appearing behind her eyelids, and willed herself to open her eyes and face the woman standing next to her.

“Marian.” Regina said softly, not dropping her gaze, even though she wanted to, after seeing the hate and malice in the other woman’s eyes, several steps beyond the defiance she’d seen the last time the two had been face to face.

“Oh, come on now, Regina, let’s show a bit more enthusiasm than that.”

“What do you want from me?”

“Answers.”

“Just ask.” Regina said. “There’s no need for all of this. I’ll answer whatever you want to know. I imagine there are no secrets here.”

“You took me away from my family and made it yours. Did you know? Then?”

“No, I didn’t. I didn’t even know until you - well, not really you, but my sister disguised as you - came through the time portal with Emma and Hook. Robin never told me.”

“I can’t believe he fell for you.”

“I can’t either.” Regina said, finally looking away from Marian. “But it happened. And then he died for me.”

“And because of you, I’ll never see him here. Because of you, his soul is gone.”

“That was his choice. He chose to protect me. I didn’t ask for it.”

“You bewitched him.”

“I didn’t.”

“You did! Admit it!”

“I didn’t.” Regina looked at Marian with what she hoped was an open gaze. “I didn’t bewitch him. I didn’t cast any sort of spell on him to make him love me. I wasn’t even looking for love. But he came to me. He wouldn’t leave me alone. And though I tried not to, I fell for him too. I didn’t plan any of it.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not.”

Marian turned away and pulled something out of the darkness and into Regina’s field of vision. Her stomach sank as she saw what it was. 

For someone from the Enchanted Forest, Marian displayed remarkable alacrity in attaching the electrodes and wires of the electroshock machine to Regina’s temples and fingers.

“Last chance to admit it. You bewitched him.”

“I didn’t. I swear. Would I be here now if he were just a game to me?”

“You bewitched him and made him die for you! You made my son an orphan!”

“I am so sorry for Roland losing his parents. Hate me for that if you want. I know I do. It’s something I have to live with every day. But I’m hoping to make it up to him by bringing his father back.”

“That’s a lie. You just want Robin for yourself.”

“I saved your son’s life. That’s when Robin fell for me. And they both grew in my heart. Not just Robin. I’d been hoping… I mean, I wanted…” Regina’s voice broke.

“What did you want?”

“I wanted us to be a family.” Regina cried. “I was alone for so long. Then Henry came into my life. Then Robin and Roland. I loved them. I wanted to protect them.”

Marian put her face right up to Regina’s. “That’s my family you’re talking about.”

“It is. And I’m sorry that because of me you lost them. But I can’t change the past. I can’t change what I was. What I did. All I can do is change what I am now. Try to do better. Try to do right by Robin. And if that means lying here until you electrocute me to death, I’ll do it. If that will help get Robin’s soul back.”

“Don’t think I won’t do it. For what you did to me.” Marian’s eyes were on Regina, but her fingers felt for the switch, though Regina could see a tremble in her hand as she did it.

_That’s what this is about._ Regina thought, as she understood what she was seeing. _You’ve been thinking of yourself and what losses you’ve suffered. Not the losses you’ve caused. The effects those have. What they can create. What they can do to someone’s soul. I get it now._

“You have every right to do it.” Regina spoke more confidently now, understanding what her real task was. “You have every right to flip that switch and cause me all of the pain that I caused you. But you shouldn’t.”

“Why not? I’m already dead. Gone. Dust in the wind.”

“And yet you’re standing here. Your soul. Your essence. And when I bring Robin back and you do see him again, do you think he’ll want to know what you reduced yourself to for revenge? Is that the Marian he remembers? The Marian he loved?”

“She’s gone.”

“She doesn’t have to be. Do you remember the last thing you said to me?”

“I believe I called you a monster. Was I wrong?”

“At that time, no, you weren’t. I was a monster. But I mean before that. You said that if I had a family, that if I had love, then I wouldn’t need to be cruel. You were right.”

“And now you have mine. And I don’t. That’s supposed to change my mind?”

“You will see them again. And when you do, will you be able to face them? If you flip that switch? I let grief and revenge consume me for years. I know what it does to your soul. Hurting others doesn’t make it better. It just makes it worse.”

“But you deserve it.”

“I do. But you don’t. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. Don’t hurt your family in that way. Please.” Regina’s voice broke again. “I love them too. I’d do anything for them. They remember you with nothing but love and care. Don’t taint that.”

“You just don’t want to feel it again. The pain that this causes. You’ve felt it before.”

“I have. And yes, it was horrible. And I don’t want to feel it again. But this isn’t about me. It’s about you. You think it will make you feel better but it won’t. I’m sorry that I’m responsible for your death. I’m sorry that your son had to spend years without a mother. I’m sorry that Robin lost his wife and had to go through that pain and darkness. I’m even sorry that Robin stepped in front of that Crystal and took the hit that was meant for me. If I could change any of it I would.”

“Even if it meant losing Robin for yourself? Seeing him back with me? Him having no memory of you? Would you still do it?”

“Yes.” Regina wept. “Yes. Because that’s what true love is. It’s sacrifice. If that’s the price I have to pay to bring his soul back from oblivion, I would accept that.”

Marian stepped away from the machine and looked down at her hands, then back up to Regina, meeting her gaze. “You won’t have to. But thank you.”

Though Marian was nowhere near the machine, Regina felt a flash of bright electricity go through her, and as her eyes fluttered closed, she saw Marian’s face, now peaceful and free of hate.

* * * * *

“Regina! Regina!”

As she came back to her senses, Regina heard her sister’s voice calling to her in the distance. She was no longer on the cold metal table, but on a forest floor. She eased her eyes open carefully, blinking in the sunlight, as Zelena knelt next to her, shaking her shoulders.

“Hey… I’m okay… I think…”

Dionysus - looking like himself again - came into Regina’s field of vision, hovering behind Zelena. “You’ll be fine.” He said. “Congratulations. You passed the first test.”

Zelena looked up at him in confusion. “How? Just by refusing you?”

“There was more to it than that.” Regina said, sitting up carefully with Zelena’s help. “Maybe my body didn’t go anywhere and no time passed for you, but… I was elsewhere.” She looked at Dionysus. “But you saw all of that?”

“Of course I did. Like I said, congratulations. Your door to your next challenge is right over there.” He motioned to an elaborate, rippling door with a wing motif for the golden doorknobs.

Zelena helped Regina get to her feet. Regina looked at her sister and smiled, squeezing her hand. They started towards the door when Regina stopped and turned back to Dionysus.

“So I… went elsewhere. Does Zelena need to do the same? See her?”

“Her?” Zelena questioned.

“No.” Dionysus said. “This is your quest. What involvement Zelena has in each challenge will depend on the will of my brothers and sisters. I chose not to involve her, because this is your fight to fight, not hers. They might have their own reckoning one day. But that is not today. Go. My brother’s expecting you.”

Regina nodded and turned back towards the door. She and Zelena walked up to it, marveling at its nebulous there-but-not-there rippling. They each took hold of one of the golden wings, and in unison, pulled open the door and stepped through.


	4. Hermes, Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina and Zelena meet the Messenger of the Gods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how about that finale?
> 
> An interesting choice that they've made there, and I hope that means we'll be seeing a lot more of Regina over the next season than we have the past two. I think we will kind of have to, as those of you who have seen the episode will know ;)
> 
> My endgame for this story hasn't been changed by the finale, since I've already had that in mind for awhile, but it definitely looks like the show is going in a different direction. Oh well, fanfic is its own world, right? I hope you enjoy! Please comment and let me know how you think it is going, and your recommendations!

_“I’m falling through a dark sunrise/I will escape the entropy/And find a way to leave this time/I will bring you back to me” - Starset, “The Future Is Now”_

Regina and Zelena stepped into darkness, and as their eyes adjusted, they saw that they were standing on a rocky beach, lit up only by the light of the stars and their reflections on the water. The beach curved around the base of the inlet, then disappeared into cliffs, which were visible above and behind them as well, rocky faces weathered with the passing of time.

As Regina watched the sky, she saw one of the stars getting brighter, coming closer, and realized it wasn’t a star at all - it was a man. Or rather, a god, as he ran through the sky with wings on his feet, coming to a stop over the water just in front of her and Zelena.

“Hermes.” Regina said.

“Messenger of the gods, patron of travellers, guardian of roads and boundaries. Yes, it is I. And you have a long journey in front of you, Regina. Though how long is up to you.”

“Are you going to try and seduce me too?” Regina asked. “Your brother already tried that. Didn’t work.”

“I’m not as crass as my little brother.” Hermes replied. “When I say journey, I mean that literally. My task is simple - you simply need to make your way to the next door.”

“You’re not going to tell us where it is though, I’m assuming.” Zelena said.

“That would take the challenge out of it, yes.”

“So how do we find it?” Regina asked.

“You will need to search for your soulmate between the stars. If your love is true, he will lead you where you need to go.”

“Wait, does that mean that Zeus has already restored his soul?” Regina asked, allowing herself to hope.

“Not… as such. Zeus hasn’t done anything. Not yet anyway. Hades did kill Robin with the Olympian Crystal, which should have completely destroyed Robin’s soul.”

“I’m sensing a but.” Regina said.

“But while his soul was cast out from his mortal shell, and granted no absolution in moving on, it isn’t gone. Not the way it should have been, given what was done to him.”

“You mean Hades screwed up?”

“No. Hades did everything that he intended. But he spent too much time in the Underworld to really understand the spectrum between life and death. And my brothers and sisters and father spend too much time on Olympus. But I inhabit the world between, conducting souls on their journeys. And thus I can tell you that there are some things that transcend even the power of that Crystal.”

Regina looked at Hermes curiously. “I don’t understand. Robin’s dead, his soul isn’t in the afterlife, but it’s also not… gone? Why not?”

“That answer lies within you. Good luck.”

Hermes sailed back into the sky and disappeared back into the light of the stars.

Zelena looked at Regina. “What did he mean by that?”

“I’m not sure yet.” Regina rested her hand on her chest over her heart, thinking about Hermes’ words and what they could mean. But one thing was clear.

No matter what, Robin isn’t gone forever.

Buoyed by this revelation, Regina looked around the beach, the cliffs, then over the stars. None of the stars that she could see out over the water called to her, and she started slowly turning in a circle to face the cliffs above them.

There. I can’t see them, but I know they’re there.

“I know where we have to go.” Regina said confidently. “At least to start.”

“Will we need a boat? I don’t see any around here, which could be a bother. Who knows how magic works in this realm.”

“We don’t need a boat. We need to go up there.” Regina pointed above the cliffs. “He’s there. I can feel it. We need to find a way up.”

They walked the line of the cliffs, from one end of the beach to the other, looking for a good place to make the climb. Only one path seemed passable, but would still require a decent amount of climbing and searching out footholds.

“I am not dressed for this.” Zelena said, waving her hands over herself to change her outfit, frowning as it didn’t work. “My magic. It’s not working.”

“Let me try.” Regina waved her hands over her feet - she really wanted more sensible footwear for this climb - but also came up empty. She tried again, remembering the adjustments to her mind and hand motions that she needed to make depending on the realm - the Enchanted Forest, Storybrooke, Underworld, they all had different magical signatures. But it still didn’t work.

“Well, I guess that means we lose what doesn’t work.” Regina said, sitting down and pulling off her heels. She shrugged off her jacket, glad that the temperature was bearable, leaving it on the beach with her heels. Zelena likewise removed her heavy coat, dropping it on the ground next to Regina’s. She was wearing slightly more sensible shoes, and kept them on. As an afterthought, Regina pulled off her socks and stuffed them in her pockets, thinking that bare feet might be better to climb with.

“I’ll go first.”

Regina climbed carefully over the scattered rocks to get to the outcropping that they would need to climb up, wincing as sharp rocks scored her feet. Reaching the cliff face, she ran her hands over it, searching for the best handholds. She’d never climbed a cliff before, but after a childhood filled with riding horses and climbing trees - when her mother wasn’t looking, at least - she hoped that she would be able to figure it out.

Bit by bit, Regina inched up the cliff face, searching out hand and footholds by touch, willing herself not to look down. She could hear Zelena preparing to follow her as she reached the first ledge, sitting down and catching her breath as she waited for her sister to catch up. Once she did, they moved on to the next section.

Regina didn’t know how much time had passed by the time she finally crawled onto the top of the cliff, tired and exhausted. Once Zelena collapsed next to her, she breathed a sigh of relief, glad that that part of the trek was over with.

While Zelena caught her breath, Regina stood and surveyed the stars, stars that hadn’t been visible from where they had been at the bottom of the cliff. The stars were distant, and she couldn’t pick out any particular star as calling to her, any particular star that felt like Robin. But she did feel his presence, and once Zelena was ready to go again, they set off across the rocky scrubland in the direction that she felt him.

Hours passed, but the sky didn’t lighten - it was as if they were in a place of eternal night. Regina didn’t feel any closer to the stars, though she watched the sky with every step.

Concentrating on the sky more than her feet, Regina’s right foot caught on a rock, and she went down, landing on her knees in the brush, feeling the twigs and branches tearing her hands as she braced her fall. She tried to stand, but couldn’t, her foot still pinned between the rocks.

Zelena was there to stop her fall, and she eased Regina to the ground gently, trying to avoid further injury.

“I’m fine.” Regina said gruffly.

“Of course you are. Don’t be afraid to let me help you. Stop being such a martyr.”

“This isn’t supposed to be fun. Pain is part of the bargain.”

“Part of the bargain is also being able to go on. And that won’t happen if you can’t walk. Let me help you, and then we can rest for awhile. How long has it been since either of us slept?”

“I don’t know.” Regina said, suddenly feeling the weight of that exhaustion. Zelena took that opportunity to shift the rocks and eased Regina’s foot out from between them. Regina winced and repositioned herself so she was sitting more comfortably, trying to see what damage had been done to her ankle.

It was difficult to see in the darkness. Regina tried to conjure a flame again, letting out a groan of frustration as again it wouldn’t come.

“Hey.” Zelena said, grabbing Regina’s wrist. “Let’s try it together. Maybe we need to work together to make our magic work.”

Regina sighed and nodded. “Okay. On three.”

The flame did work, not as strongly as it would have in other realms with two of them working together, but it was enough to create a circle of fireballs that let them examine the damage to Regina’s foot.

Regina winced again as she looked at her foot. She could feel the swelling starting to come up around her ankle, even though that bruising wasn’t yet visible. If it would even be visible under all of the bruises and cuts and blood - there was barely a clean patch of skin anywhere on her foot.

“Damn it, Regina, how were you even walking like this? Let me see the other foot.”

Regina adjusted her position and stretched her other leg out next to it, revealing the skin on her other foot to be just as bruised and bleeding.

“Seriously, Regina. Do I really have to play the big sister here? Telling you what to do, telling you when to stop?”

“You are the older sister. As you have frequently reminded me.”

“Then I am putting my foot down. Big sister prerogative. We managed these fireballs. Let’s work together to heal your feet. And get your shoes. Because you’re not walking over the rest of the countryside here like that.”

Regina sighed. “Fine. Let’s try.”

They held hands over Regina’s feet, concentrating on the healing magic that neither of them were incredibly familiar with, but through a lot of concentration, Regina’s ankle felt less twisted and the largest cuts had sealed themselves over.

“When we get home…” Regina trailed off.

“What?”

“When we get home, we’re taking some serious time to work on healing magic.” Her eyes flicked up to her sister’s. “I think your magic has probably worked the same way as mine. Anger, envy, rage. Magic to destroy, not create. Doesn’t leave much room for the emotions needed for healing. Have you even used healing magic besides that time you healed me when we were kids?”

“Not an awful lot.” Zelena said. “Is it just me, or does it feel like magic drains faster here? I mean, normally, it should be easy enough for me to make fire, change clothes…”

“No, it isn’t just you. Probably meant for us to keep thinking of alternate ways to do things, instead of going for the easy option.”

“Though we should still get your shoes. Your feet still don’t look lovely. You should at least have your shoes before we keep going.”

“I thought you said we should rest?”

“And we will. After we get the shoes. Then we rest, hopefully refresh our magic at least a wee bit, and then keep going. No one said that these twelve quests need to be done in one shot.”

“If I rest, I start thinking about him. I see it playing over and over again in my mind. Wondering if I could have pushed him out of the way in time. Let it take me instead of him.”

“And then you know where we’d be?”

“I’d be nothingness. You’d have Hades. And your daughter. And you wouldn’t have to worry about me.”

“Regina, you’re my sister. I would always worry about you.”

“A week ago we were trying to kill each other. And look where we are now. Not even things between me and Snow changed that quickly, and she’s always been an insufferable optimist.”

“Perhaps that’s why.”

“Come again?”

“When two people are such opposites, it is hard to get them to agree on anything. But like you’ve been telling me for a long time now, we’re a lot alike.”

Regina sighed. “That is true. Thank you, by the way.”

“For what?”

“For coming with me. And for killing Hades instead of me. That can’t have been easy.”

“He lost my love when he threatened you.” Zelena said, looking at the ground. “I believe what Mother said. That we have to hold on to each other. And despite all the talk of True Love, I was just a means to an end for Hades.”

“He did love you. Otherwise True Love’s Kiss wouldn’t have worked. He just didn’t know how to love in a healthy way. There will be someone else for you.”

“You think so?”

“I do. I lost Daniel, but I gained Robin. You can have a second chance at love too.”

Zelena smiled. “Thank you, Regina.”

Regina smiled back and took her sister’s hand, squeezing it. Zelena moved closer and gave Regina a hug.

When Zelena pulled back she looked at Regina with a stern look. “Now, as the big sister, I do request that we get your shoes. Because I am not carrying you all over Olympus.”

Regina took both of Zelena’s hands and they concentrated hard. It took several minutes, and their hands began to shake, but Regina’s shoes finally appeared in the space between them.

“There.” Regina breathed. “That really shouldn’t have been so difficult.”

“It’s done. Now let’s rest. Do you want to take watches? Or do you think we’ll be alright here?”

Regina looked around, and all she heard was the whistle of a light breeze through the scrubland.

“I think we’re okay. But let’s keep the fire.”

Regina arranged some of the rocks in a circle, filled the centre with branches, and pulled the circle of flame from the air and directed it into the wood. The fire lit up easily.

Meanwhile, Zelena pushed rocks out of the way to clear out a patch of plain hard-packed dirt. It wasn’t much of a bed, but it would have to do.

Regina settled into her spot, leaning up against her sister, trying to clear her mind but failing. “It’s starting.” She whispered tearfully.

“Hey. We’ll find him. That’s why we’re here.” Zelena said reassuringly. “You’ll see Robin again. And your son. And Robin’s son. And our daughter. We’ll get through this, we’ll bring Robin back and we’ll be a family.”

“A really strange family.”

“Any different from the one you’re already in with Emma and Snow and Rumple?”

“Good point.”

“Now rest. We’ve got a trek to finish and then who knows how many more of these tests. But I believe in you. We will find Robin. We will get home.”

“Home.” Regina said softly. “Just think of home…”

With that, she drifted into a peaceful sleep.


	5. Hermes, Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina and Zelena discuss what happened with Dionysus, and carry on with Hermes' task.

The sleep wasn’t as peaceful as she had hoped it would be. Regina slept fitfully, but managed some rest in between dreams that relived the moment when Robin stepped in front of her, taking the blast from the Crystal in the chest, and then soul dissolving into nothingness.

She woke up from each one gasping and sobbing, but Zelena was there, stroking her hair, reminding her it was a dream, and that they would get him back, that he wasn’t gone forever.

After the fifth time, Regina refused to go back to sleep again.

“Not anymore. I can’t. I can’t keep reliving that moment.” Regina sobbed. “It doesn’t matter if we fix it. It doesn’t matter if we bring him back. That moment will still haunt me forever.”

“You’ll have to sleep again eventually, Regina.”

“When I have him here. He might be able to keep the nightmares away. So let’s keep going.” She put her socks and shoes on and stood up, wincing as the shoes rubbed on her sore feet.

Zelena sighed wearily and stood up as well. “All right. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. You need your strength.”

“Maybe I don’t. Maybe that’s the point.”

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe being strong isn’t what matters here. Maybe it is being vulnerable. Being ready to accept anything. Like Mother did when she walked out onto that bridge.”

“What happened to you when we were with Dionysus?”

“I was taken back… well, sort of. Before we went to Neverland to rescue Henry, there were some outsiders in town. People not from the Enchanted Forest. One of them… he’d been in Storybrooke as a boy. He and his father had been camping in the woods when Storybrooke was created by the curse, so they weren’t subject to the same no outsiders rule that Storybrooke’s creation made.”

“So you met that boy again? As a man?”

“Not quite. Those first days of Storybrooke… I… I tried to kidnap the boy, but he escaped, his father was kept behind, and I… I killed him. The boy came back as an adult to find me and… get out of me what happened to his father.”

“You mean he tortured you.”

“Yes. He strapped me down to a metal table and tortured me with electrical shocks until I told him.”

“So you went back to that moment? Why would Dionysus want that?”

“It wasn’t him. But it was that setting. The person was someone completely different.”

“A her.” Zelena said thoughtfully. Then her eyes widened. “Her. Marian.”

“Yes.”

“So Marian tortured you.”

“She wanted to. Saying that I bewitched Robin. But I convinced her not to.”

“Why did you do that? I thought you said pain was a part of the bargain here.”

“I was ready for the pain. But the point was vulnerability. Apologizing to Marian for sentencing her to death. Telling her I was going to do right by her son by bringing his father back. And not letting her damage her soul by doing that to me.”

“You deserved it, let’s be honest.”

“I did. But she didn’t. I know more than anyone that revenge doesn’t make you feel better. It just makes it worse. I didn’t want it to be worse for her.”

“And that’s what got you out of there?”

“Yes.”

“But how does this vulnerability help us with our current task? Finding the door by the guidance of the stars?”

Regina sighed. “Now that one I don’t know. But it will require thinking outside the box. I know we need to go in that direction for now. So let’s keep going and we’ll see what reveals itself.”

“Fine. But earlier you were on about love being sacrifice. Now it is vulnerability. Which is it?”

“Vulnerability is also a part of love. Giving your heart over to another person… sometimes literally, I did give Robin my heart once, if you remember, to protect it from you… there’s a huge amount of vulnerability in that. And sacrifice is when you give that up to make someone else happy.”

“What do you mean? Giving up vulnerability?”

“No. Accepting that vulnerability. Feeling it. Feeling your love so strongly, but if it would save them, be willing to sacrifice it all to bring them back.”

“Now I’m lost.”

“That was the last thing that Marian and I talked about. She asked if I’d be willing to give up Robin - that is, have him brought back but with no memory of me, that he’d have been with her always - if that is what it took to save him.”

“And what did you say?”

“I said I would. If that’s what it took to bring him back, I would. That’s sacrifice, and vulnerability, right there. Breaking your own heart to save someone…”

“I wish I understood. But I suppose you have to really experience love to understand it.” Zelena turned away.

Regina went after her and faced her again. “You will, Zelena. I believe it. When we get back to Storybrooke, we will find that person for you.”

“You believe that.”

“I have to. Hope is all I have right now. Come on, let’s go.”

Regina extinguished their fire and led the way across the scrubland. After some time, it did seem like they were getting closer to the stars, as impossible as it seemed.

Regina surveyed the sky above them, now feeling almost close enough to reach. She stretched her hand into the air, almost as if preparing to touch a star, but the illusion was merely an illusion - while they looked closer, they were not anything that could be touched by human hands.

“So where to?” Zelena asked. “Which one is him?”

“That’s just it…” Regina said, frowning. “None of them are.”

“I thought you said you could feel him. That’s why we’ve trekked for hours.”

“I can feel him. But he’s not in the stars.”

“I thought we were looking for him there.”

“I thought so too, but…” Regina stopped. “No, we’re not. Remember what Hermes said. I have to look for him between the stars.”

“Between the stars?”

“If we’re to believe that the stars are souls, and that Robin’s soul went to a different place of stasis and in-between rather than moving on or staying in the Underworld… that would make sense.”

“So how is that leading us to a door?”

“I think I’m getting an idea. Come on. This way.”

Regina took them through more scrubland until a dark forest loomed before them. It was directly under the patch of sky that she had been focused on this entire time.

They entered the forest, weaving through the trees until they came to a clearing like the one where they had met Dionysus. Only instead of a god, they were faced with three identical doors made of steel and fire.

“Now what? Hope and pray?” Zelena asked.

“No…” Regina looked up at the sky and surveyed the stars. The starlight reflected on the left and centre doors. The door on the right, however, was in darkness. She moved toward it.

“How do you know it is that one?”

“The light. Like Hermes said. He’s between the stars. Not in the stars. This is the right one, I’m sure of it.” Regina hovered her hand over the warm surface of the door, feeling the fire. She was certain she was right.

“You are right.” Hermes’ voice said. “Congratulations.”

Regina turned around to see Hermes hovering in the air next to Zelena. Zelena moved away and went to stand next to Regina.

“So we go through this door now? That’s it?”

“It is. Your self-awareness and understanding are growing. That’s important.”

“I’m sure. But are you going to explain what you meant about how the reason why Robin’s soul survives is within me?”

“That is still for you to figure out. You are done my task, but you are still only at the beginning. It will become clear. Now go. My next brother is expecting you.”

“Am I ready for it?”

“You are. Find your peace. Hold on to your truth. If you do that, then you can master any challenge set before you. Have faith, Regina.”

“Thank you.”

Regina turned away from Hermes, and she and Zelena opened the doors of steel and fire into the next god’s realm.


	6. Hephaestus, Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina and Zelena take on Hephaestus’ challenge, and are forced to confront something they had tried to ignore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Discussion (non-graphic) of rape.

_“I cut you into pieces/Searching for your imperfections/I had plans to make you whole/But all my threads couldn't stop the bleeding/There's nothing left, but I'm not leaving/When all I know is you” - Starset, “Let It Die”_

They were met with a blast of hot air and the scent of sulfur and fire on the air.

Zelena doubled over, coughing. “What is this place?”

“Hephaestus.” Regina said. “God of craftsmen, metal, fire and volcanoes.”

Regina looked around the molten forge, covering her ears to try and block out the roar of sounds, particularly jarring after their near-silent trek through Hermes’ realm. The light was dim, but she did notice a figure sitting in the darkness to their right.

She pulled on Zelena’s sleeve and directed them both towards the figure, which stayed stoic in the shadows. 

“Hello?” Regina asked. “Hephaestus?”

As they neared the figure, a spotlight suddenly shone down upon them, illuminating the two women as well as the figure sitting upon a throne.

Regina looked upon Hephaestus, his long black hair glistening in the light, pulled sharply away from his face, draping along his shoulders. In one hand he held a strong metal cane, which drew attention to his legs.

She had not expected a god to have a lame leg. Or the bright scar down the left side of his face.

“Let me guess, I don’t fit your image of a god, do I?” he asked.

“Sorry… but I thought gods were all-powerful.” Regina said quietly, trying not to stare.

“We have our limits. These are mine. But you’re not here to talk about my looks, are you?”

“No. We’re here to bring my soulmate’s soul back from oblivion.”

“And you’re sure you know him well enough for that?”

Regina looked at the ground. “We didn’t have as much time together as we should have. As much as our love deserved. I wish every moment that we had more time. That’s why I’m here.”

“We’ll see if you know him as well as you need to.” Hephaestus waved his hand towards his right, where Regina saw a dimly lit hallway leading out of the roar of the forge.

“Go there. Find his image and bring it to me.”

Regina turned towards the hallway and started towards it.

“And oh.” Hephaestus cleared his throat.

“Hmm?” Regina turned back to him.

“You’ll want to bring your sister with you.”

* * * * *

Regina and Zelena walked down the winding hallway for a long time until they came out into a vast room, ceiling almost beyond their sight.

But what really took Regina’s breath away was the sight before them on the ground - a vast army of statues that looked exactly like Robin. They continued on as far as she could see, like the Terra Cotta Army in the documentaries that she had watched in Storybrooke.

But Hephaestus had said that she had to bring the image of Robin to him. That meant that most of these, despite looking like Robin, would not be completely accurate.

“Is this another thing like Hermes, where you’re supposed to follow your heart to the right statue?” Zelena asked. “Dull if they keep reusing the same challenge.”

“No. This isn’t like that. This is more… visual. I don’t feel him anywhere here.”

“I guess that’s why Hephaestus said I should come along.”

Regina turned to her sister. “What?”

“Oh come on, Regina. How much time have you and Robin spent together? And how much of that was fighting monsters or Dark Ones or what have you? How much time did you have to just enjoy each other’s presence?”

Regina’s heart sank as she took in Zelena’s words. “Not nearly enough.” She whispered. “But you…” Which came out with more of a snarl than she had intended.

“But I have.” Zelena said, putting her hand on Regina’s arm, only to have Regina pull away and turn away from her. “Come on, Regina. Talk to me.”

“Talk about what? That you know my soul mate more viscerally and in more detail than I do, because you pretended to be someone you’re not and deceived him into having sex with you? That’s rape, Zelena. That’s not okay.”

“You’ve done the same and worse.”

“And I’m not proud of that.” Regina said soberly, remembering Graham. “But don’t you dare go rubbing in my face that you know Robin better than I do because you made a relationship with him built on lies.”

“I’m not trying to do that.”

“Then what are you trying to do, Zelena?” Regina asked, tears pricking her eyes again. “I raped Graham. I admit that. I took his heart and used him for my own purposes. Then I killed him when he outlived his usefulness. But that’s a past I’ve been working really hard to overcome. I’ve been working really hard to be better than that. To make up for the bad things I’ve done. It can’t bring Graham back, it can’t erase what I did, but I still try to do good. But you haven’t even tried. You’ve just accepted my love and Mother’s love and not done anything to apologize for what you’ve done.” 

“I gave my daughter to you when we were in the Underworld.”

“Because you were worried that Hades was going to use her for that time travel spell. Not because you actually wanted to let her see her father.”

“But we’ve been such friends for the past days. I thought that was enough.”

“It’s not me you have to apologize to. I’m not the one you wronged.”

“Aren’t you?”

“In my old way of looking at things, yes, I would have thought that. And for you, it might have been that as well. Robin was just a tool in your game to mess with me. But what we’d both be forgetting in that is that Robin is his own person. Independent of you. Independent of me. A person with his own feelings and fears and desires.”

“But I can’t apologize to him right now. He’s dead. I’m helping you bring him back. Isn’t that apology enough?”

“I can’t decide that. You will need to take it up with him. Only he can tell you what apology he needs. And I…” Regina broke off with a choked sound, tears boiling over and streaming down her face.

“And what?”

“And it was because of what you did to him that my almost last words to him were an argument. I’m just so glad we made up before we came up into the town hall. But before we did, we argued. About you. About how I was so quick to trust you, and I hadn’t considered how he’d feel about it, because he most certainly did not trust you. I was so overwhelmed with how I trusted you now that I forgot what you did to him.”

“But you made up.”

“Yes. Because he knew that I’d been given a lot of second chances before I finally stopped being the Evil Queen, and that you’d need the same. But that still doesn’t mean he trusts you. Maybe I shouldn’t even trust you, since trusting you is what got us into this whole mess to begin with. Robin wouldn’t be dead if I hadn’t trusted you.”

Regina dropped to the ground, exhausted and sobbing on the closest statue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I thought it was about time that Regina and Zelena addressed the elephant in the room. Because for all that they're pretty much BFFs now, there is still the fact that Zelena raped Robin, and Regina hasn't really seemed to care about that since 5x19 "Sisters". Maybe she doesn't know how to address it, given her own past, ergo why I think them trying to talk their way through it seemed like a good idea. What do you think? Suggestions on how to continue and resolve this scene (as much as it can be resolved without Robin's presence anyway)?


	7. Hephaestus, Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina and Zelena try to work through their problems and continue with Hephaestus' challenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Discussion (non-graphic) of rape and marital problems.

“Regina.” She didn’t react.

“Regina.” She didn’t move.

Zelena sighed. “Regina, you can’t ignore me forever. Do you really want to spend eternity in here surrounded by all of these statues? It’s unsettling.”

Regina looked up, eyes still full of tears. “I don’t care how you feel right now. We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you.”

“And you wouldn’t be anywhere if it wasn’t for me.” Zelena said, grabbing Regina’s arm and pulling her to her feet. “Whatever bad blood there is between us, remember that. I was holding the Crystal. And I made a choice. I chose you. I chose you over Hades, who, may I remind you, was my True Love. Who was the only person who has never judged me for who I am. For who I was. And I know you know what that feels like. Because Robin was the same with you. But despite that, I still chose you over him. I killed my True Love for you.”

“You said that he lost your love when he threatened me.”

“Because I chose you over him. I could have not.”

“So I’m supposed to forgive you raping my soulmate because you spared my life and killed his murderer instead?”

“Wouldn’t hurt.”

“It’s not that simple. Am I glad that you chose me over Hades? Of course. And I will always be grateful for that. But that is a separate thing from what you did to Robin.”

“Which you did to that huntsman, what was his name…”

“Graham. And I’m pretty sure there will be a reckoning about that somewhere along the way here. In fact, I’m positive there will be. And also with…” Regina swallowed hard.

“With who?”

“Leopold.”

“The king. Your husband.”

“Yes.” Regina said quietly, looking at the ground, the statue beside her, anywhere but at Zelena.

Zelena frowned at her sister, and then her eyes widened in shock. “That’s why you’re so passionate and angry about this. Did he… did Leopold… did he force you?”

“It wasn’t quite like that.” Regina said, rubbing her neck. “He was never cruel, but… it wasn’t really my choice. Mother forced me into the marriage, killing Daniel who stood in her way of having me be queen. So I didn’t really have a choice about it. Just like Robin didn’t have a true choice with you. Sure, he was a willing participant because he thought he was having sex with his wife. Marian. Not with you. So while he might have gone willingly to bed with you, he didn’t have all of the facts, and thus didn’t have a real choice. Just like I didn’t with Leopold, because of Mother.”

“So when you killed the king, and then later sent the Huntsman after Snow White… that was you reasserting control over your life.”

“If you’re trying to excuse what I did to Graham, don’t. But yes, I was trying to regain control over my life. That doesn’t make it right though.”

Zelena took Regina’s hands in hers, even though Regina still wouldn’t look at her, but she didn’t pull away. “Regina, was Robin… was Robin the only person you have ever been with where both of you freely chose it?”

“Yes. Besides Leopold and Graham, I… I never had anyone else. Until Robin.”

“I… I guess I’m still looking.” Zelena said softly.

At that Regina finally looked up. “You mean…”

“Robin’s the only person I’ve ever been with. Hades and I never got that far. And other than him, there was never anyone else. And while Robin didn’t love me - or rather, Marian, not anymore, at that point - he was nothing but kind and compassionate towards me. He was hopelessly in love with you, of course, even when he was trying to build a life with me. I wanted it to be real, even though I knew that you’d find a way to come for him eventually. But while he and I were still there, I could pretend that it was real. I wanted it to be. I’m sorry, Regina. I’m sorry for doing what I did. Taking him from you. Taking him for me. I’ll do whatever he wants me to when we find him, whatever I can do to apologize… but please, Regina, will you forgive me?”

“How can I forgive you when I’m no different from you? Do I have forgiveness to give when I have so much to seek forgiveness for myself?”

“I think you do. Remember what Mother said. She said it is never too late.”

“I wonder about that. And I wonder if it is true.”

“What do you mean? If she was redeemed in the end, don’t you think you can be?”

“I have a lot more to answer for than Mother ever did. Sure, she took some hearts. Set up a domino pattern of deaths to make me queen. Maybe even slaughtered a village or two, from what Snow and Emma said, after the curse broke. But that’s nothing compared to what I’ve done. Maybe there is no redemption for me.”

“I refuse to believe that. If there was no redemption for you, we wouldn’t be here.”

“This is about Robin, not me.”

“Are you sure about that? Why would Dionysus have you meet Marian?”

“Because she’s Robin’s wife. And I had her killed.”

“Then why do you think you’ll have to face Leopold and Graham, if this was about Robin and not you?”

Regina opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She didn’t have anything to say to that.

“See?” Zelena said. “This isn’t about Robin. This is about you. It always has been.”

“But why?”

“I guess we’ll see. But what that means is that there is redemption for you. And if there’s redemption for you, there’s redemption for me. So please, if you can… can you forgive me? And we can get this challenge done together, and be one step closer to getting your thief back?”

Regina looked up into Zelena’s eyes, seeing them honest, open and pleading. She nodded. “I forgive you, Zelena. From me. I can’t speak for Robin.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to. Thank you.” Zelena squeezed Regina’s hand, and let them go. “So shall we find him here? There must be hundreds of these statues.”

Regina swept her hair back from her face, wiped away her tears and looked around. “We need some way to mark the ones we know are wrong. Magic?”

“Probably too draining, looking at how many of them there are. We’d exhaust our resources too quickly. But we can use some magic to create something that we can use to mark them. Marker?”

Regina nodded, and held her hands out. Zelena hovered hers over top, and within a few seconds a thick black marker appeared in Regina’s hands.

“Very good. So, where shall we start?”

“At the beginning is as good a place as any.” Zelena said, and they returned to the beginning of the statues.

The sisters surveyed the first statue. Regina’s eyes roamed over the naked form, looking for any feature that would tell her whether or not it was Robin, when her eyes fell on his right hip.

“It’s not him.” Regina said. “I know it.” She ran her hand over the unblemished right hip. “He has a scar here.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“You wouldn’t. It happened while we were in Camelot. I…” Regina blushed. “After he almost died, we were in our bed chamber. He was supposed to be resting, having just been stabbed and all, but… we also wanted to feel each other. I forgot to take off that stupid necklace and ended up scratching him with it.”

“Well, that’s one down then.” Zelena took the marker from Regina and made to slash a black mark across his chest, but when Regina flinched, she stopped, moving instead to make a simple black mark on the hip where the real Robin had the scar.

“Sorry, I… I wasn’t thinking.” Zelena said. “What memories that would evoke.”

“It’s okay. I just hope that… that we can do this. That we can find him.”

“We will. I have faith.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it looks like Hephaestus' realm is a 3-parter! But I think it was important for Regina and Zelena to address all of this. Do you agree?


	8. Hephaestus, Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina and Zelena learn that forgiveness and compassion are not as easy to come by as they thought.

Regina didn’t know how many hours had passed, but they had worked their way through the entire cavernous room, marking incorrect statues as they went. Once they marked the final one, they turned back to face the rest of the room.

“We got through them all.” Zelena said.

“But there’s a problem.” Regina said. “We still have a number of possibilities.”

“Let’s pull them all into a line and look at them next to each other.”

While the statues were strong and stable, they were also made of a material light enough to be carried, and together Regina and Zelena wrestled the seven possible statues into the centre aisle, setting them up next to each other.

Regina surveyed the seven statues, looking for minute differences between them. Zelena stepped closer to the last two, eyes darting between them. As she got down to the toes, she rested a hand on the left foot of the sixth statue.

“Not this one.” She said.

“What’s your reasoning?”

“In New York, I dropped a pan of meatloaf on his foot one day. He said it didn’t hurt, but he was limping later that night and he had a bandage around it for a few days. This one doesn’t have a faint scar on that foot.”

“And you’re absolutely sure he would have had a scar?”

“I never saw it, but I would imagine so, yes. It hasn’t been that long.”

“We’ve been through several realms since then. Things can heal.”

“I know. But in the absence of anything else, we need something to narrow them down.”

“I’m not saying no. But I’m also not saying yes. Let’s look closer.”

Zelena sighed and the sisters went back to examining the statues intently. Regina found reason to cross five of them off - hair curling the wrong way, stubble brushing her hand in the wrong direction and other small cues - and they were back to the last two statues that Zelena had been focused on.

“I’m telling you, it is that mark on the foot.” Zelena said. “I know you don’t want to think about that time. But we need to be honest here.”

Regina didn’t respond, and stood there staring at the two statues, occasionally circling around them, for what felt like hours to Zelena.

“Fine.” Regina said in a defeated voice. “We’ll do it your way.”

Zelena put her hand on Regina’s shoulder, but Regina shrugged away from it.

“I’m not doing this to hurt you. I’m trying to help. But I won’t say yes and make the call unless you’re fully on board with it.”

“I kind of have to be, don’t I? You spent a lot more one on one time with him than I ever have. I loved him, but I barely knew him.”

“You did know him. The time you spent together might be measured in shorter periods of time, but make no mistake. He loved you. He left Storybrooke with me out of obligation, not love. An obligation that I, admittedly, created, but his heart was never in it. He tried. But his heart was always with you.”

“It was you then. Not the Snow Queen’s magic.”

“Well, the Snow Queen’s magic froze me initially, but when you unfroze me, yes, that was my magic that I used to make myself appear frozen again so that I would have to leave Storybrooke. Because I knew you wouldn’t send Marian out on her own. That you would send Robin with her. With me.”

Regina turned to her sister, anger in her gaze. “It is all your fault.” She snarled. “I don’t know why I listened to Mother. You’ve been ruining everything good in my life for the past few years. How can just one childhood memory change that? How?”

“Because for better or for worse, each other is all we’ve got right now.” Zelena said calmly, not rising to Regina’s bait. “Your friends, they don’t understand you like I do.”

“Because you understand me?” Regina scoffed. “Hardly. You’re the one who has spent years trying to take my life for yourself. Missing the entire part that up until Henry came into my life, it wasn’t a life I even wanted. You should have come to me at the beginning. When I married the King. I would have given it to you, my whole life, and I could have been free to have the life I wanted.”

“Maybe I should have. I almost did, once. Well, I almost killed you. But it turned out to be Rumplestiltskin pretending to be you.”

“And that’s supposed to make me trust you?”

“I’m just being honest.”

“That’s a new style for you.”

“Regina, I’m trying. I really am. I said I was sorry. You accepted it. And I’ve been showing you. I’ve been with you this whole journey. Because I believe in doing right by you. I’m sorry that I’ve always shown up at the worst points in your life. I’m sorry that my blind envy missed seeing what should have been obvious - that you were so unhappy with life as the Queen and that it shouldn’t have been something to envy. But I can’t change the past. Neither can you. All we can do is move forward. Try to be better than what we were. That’s what you said.”

“Throwing my words back at me again, are we?”

“I’m not throwing your words back at you.”

“Then what are you doing, Zelena?”

“Not rising to your provocations.”

“Provocations? You think I’m provoking you?”

“You are. For what purpose, I don’t know. But you and I both know you’re better than this.”

“Am I?” Regina said despondently. “I’ve come on this quest to save my soulmate and I can’t even identify him properly. What kind of soulmate am I?”

“The kind that lost their soulmate too tragically early to know everything about them. Because you were both too busy running into trouble to help your friends. You are both strong selfless people. If you were more selfish, then maybe you would. But you’re not. You always fight for the greater good. I don’t think Hephaestus or any of the gods here will fault you for that. Because they see what is in your heart.”

“My dark heart.” Regina scoffed. “My heart looks little better than Rumplestiltskin’s. And he almost died of it. Why haven’t I died yet?”

“You have light in your heart, Regina. Your heart is full of love. It may have darkened over time while you were the Evil Queen, but I believe that it has been getting lighter. The love you have for Henry. Robin. Roland. Even my daughter, despite the circumstances of her conception. Your heart is full of love. That is why you are alive. That is why you are here.”

“And why are you here?”

“Because I am your sister.”

“Not because you want to be.”

“Regina, you are the only person I have in this world besides my daughter. You have your other family. Henry. Roland. The Charmings. All I have is you.”

Regina flashed back to the time when those words had come out of her mouth, kneeling over the body of her son in Neverland. The anger she’d felt at that moment in Neverland came flooding back through her body, and she shoved Zelena away from her, trying to get herself space.

Zelena stumbled backward, caught off-guard, and crashed into the pedestal of the seventh statue. As she went down, Regina looked in horror as the statue rocked backward off the pedestal, and smashed to pieces on the floor behind it.

Regina screamed as if it was Robin shattering to pieces in front of her - again - and scrambled towards the pieces, but there were too many of them. She dropped the pieces she was holding and slumped over on the pedestal, weeping.

“That’s it. It’s over.” Regina wept. “That was the one, wasn’t it?”

“It was.” A deep voice said, and Regina looked up to see Hephaestus sitting on the pedestal that the statue had been on.

“Have I failed?” Regina asked, trying to wipe away the tears on her face. “I’ve failed, haven’t I?”

“Not quite yet.” Hephaestus said, extending his cane to Zelena to help her to her feet. She went to stand next to Regina, pulling her to her feet as well so they could see Hephaestus properly.

“What can we do?” Regina asked, pleading. “If we have to glue it back together…”

“Glue isn’t what will bring it back together.” Hephaestus said. “The two of you have to do it together.”

“Doing things together has been failing remarkably in the past hours.” Zelena commented. “Is there another option?”

“There isn’t.” Hephaestus said. “You have a lot of bad blood between you. And a lot to account for to the rest of the world. There will be a time for reckoning, for forgiveness, for penance, for all of that, with the rest of the world, later. But before you can do any of it, you have to have compassion and forgiveness for each other. Empathy and understanding are what will heal this statue, as a symbol for the healing that the two of you must go through to be able to be the sisters you should be.”

“What do I have to seek forgiveness for?” Regina asked. “I haven’t done anything.”

“That’s not true, is it?” Hephaestus asked, looking at Zelena. “Your sister has just been kind enough not bring it up.”

Regina looked at Zelena. “What?”

“You banished me back to Oz. Separated me from my daughter. MY daughter. You didn’t trust me. I understand that. And I don’t blame you for that. I didn’t do anything to make you trust me. But sending me to a different realm so that I could never see my daughter, even under supervision? That’s cruel, and you know it.”

“You were going to take her away from Robin.”

“How else was I supposed to react when you would barely even let me see her? You talked about forgiveness and a child changing you, but how could I even try if I could barely see her?”

“Enough.” Hephaestus intoned, raising his hand. The sisters fell quiet and looked back at him.

“Find your forgiveness. Find your empathy. Not only for each other, but start to find it for yourselves. Being able to forgive others starts with forgiving yourself.” Hephaestus clapped his hands and vanished.

Regina and Zelena looked at each other, uncertain, unsure.

Regina finally broke the silence. “So where do we go from here? A list of all of our sins? Because that will take awhile.”

“I don’t think we need to rehash them again. We know what we’ve done.”

“So what then?”

Zelena sat down on the edge of the empty pedestal. “I don’t know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah... it's a 4-parter. I promise we will get out of Hephaestus' realm soon! But I would rather the sisters take the proper time to deal with their issues with each other, rather than glossing them over (like in the show) or rushing through them without addressing them properly, which doesn't give either of their stories justice. And the next realms aren't well-suited to dealing with them, so they're stuck here until they work them out. Let me know what you think! I also welcome any suggestions for the future realms!


	9. Hephaestus, Part IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina and Zelena begin to understand what they need to be able to forgive each other and move on.

Sitting back to back with her sister on the pedestal that had contained the perfect image of her soulmate, Regina had never felt as defeated as she did in that moment. Even being imprisoned by Greg Mendell hadn’t felt this hopeless. Then she still had her anger. Her spark.

Now she felt nothing. No anger. Just sorrow. Helplessness. How was she supposed to find compassion for her sister? Not to mention forgiving herself, which, given the self-loathing she’d always lived with, would be even harder than forgiving Zelena?

Was there redemption for her? And if they stalled with such difficulty in the third challenge, what hope did she have in completing the next nine? Would they just waste away in Olympus? Or be sent back to Storybrooke?

Regina’s heart fluttered. _No. I can’t give up. Robin needs me. He is waiting for me. I just have to prove… my love? My desire to change? My commitment to redemption and walking the right path? Or something completely different?_

“Regina, what do you want in life?” Zelena asked, tipping her head back onto Regina’s shoulder, interrupting her inner conflict.

“I just want to be happy.” Regina said sorrowfully, echoing the time she had said it to her father. Right before she ripped his heart out. She closed her eyes.

“So what is preventing that?”

“Right now? Mostly you.”

“Why is that?”

“It was your bright idea to fall in love with Hades. Then restart his heart with True Love’s Kiss. Bring him to Storybrooke. Where he then murdered Robin. Destroying my happiness.”

“I thought you didn’t define your happiness relative to the love of a man.”

“I don’t.” Regina said sharply. “I know Robin loves me. He wouldn’t have died for me if that was a question.”

“And yet we’re here.”

“Because I love him. Truly and deeply. And he is a part of my happy ending. So I’ll do whatever I have to in order to bring him back to me.”

“But we’re still sitting here with a broken statue, no closer to getting there. Why is that?”

“Because… because I know what I want.” Regina said slowly. “I want to feel at home in the world. And slowly, I’ve been getting there. With Robin’s help. But… but I’ve never asked what it is that you want. What your happy ending is. So I’ll ask now - what does your happy ending look like?”

“I always wanted a family.” Zelena said wistfully. “I’ve met Mother now. But she’s passed on. I have you, for all our differences, and my daughter. And Robin. Not in the same way you have Robin, of course.” She said quickly. “But he is the father of my child. So he is family.”

“Is that enough? Are you happy with me, your daughter, and Robin?”

“No. There’s still something missing.”

“What is it? A partner? Your father?”

Zelena snorted. “My father never had any interest in me. Even less than Mother did. But I don’t know what I need. Maybe I need the same thing as you - feeling at home in a world that has never wanted me. But I don’t think I know how to be happy.”

“I didn’t, for a long time. Then I did, when Henry came into my life. But then Emma came to town…”

“How did you mend things with Emma? That couldn’t have been easy.”

“It wasn’t.” Regina said wryly. “Even now, sometimes we are best friends, sometimes we are mortal enemies. But we have one thing uniting us - our love for Henry. So to be able to work together, we had to put aside our anger and our fear so that we could be the best parents we could be to Henry.”

“Change what brought pain in the past so it can no longer cause pain in the future.”

“Something like that.”

“So let’s apply that lesson here. What brought pain to me in the past, with regards to you, was envy. I wanted your life. Now I understand that what I envied wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, so I don’t have that envy anymore. And I am building my own family, one person at a time. Now your turn. What brought you pain, when it comes to me?”

Regina was silent as she thought about it for awhile. “I guess… when it really comes down to it… my own feelings of inadequacy.”

Zelena sat up and turned so that she was sitting next to her sister, seeing her face. “That is something I wasn’t expecting.”

“But it’s true. Ever since I lost Daniel… I’ve felt like I could only be second best.”

“But you’ve been the Queen.”

“Only through Mother’s design and as a defense mechanism against other people. But with people who I was supposed to love… I always felt second best. I didn’t want to be with Leopold. But it might have been bearable if he ever saw me for me. Not as his daughter’s saviour. Not as a replacement for the wife he loved and lost. But he never did. Same with Graham. As soon as things started changing, he was no longer bound to me and he went for Emma. Henry chose Emma over me repeatedly as well. Then came you, and I learned that I wasn’t the sole child in my mother’s life, even though she had given you away, she certainly never forgot about you. And then when you reappeared… giving Robin the one thing I never could… all that inadequacy came back.”

“You thought Robin was going to choose me. Despite your pixie dust romance.”

“Can you blame me for thinking that? That’s what my experience taught me. No matter how much someone cared about me, given another option, they’d take the other option.”

“So I guess what it comes down to is that we both fear that we’re not enough.”

“You could look at it that way.” Regina wiped a stray tear away.

“But we are.” Zelena took Regina’s hand, and Regina didn’t pull away this time. “We are enough. And we are so much more. And forgiving ourselves is the first step towards forgiving each other and earning forgiveness from others. Once we start to believe that, we can do anything.”

Regina looked up at her sister with a small smile. “Even heal a broken statue?”

“Look.” Zelena pointed, and Regina looked, seeing the perfect statue of Robin knitting itself back together. Regina stood up and ran her hand over it gently, watching the cracks fade away and disappear.

She turned back to Zelena. “We did it.”

“We did.” Zelena smiled, dropping her forehead against Regina’s and holding both of her hands. “Remember what Mother said. To hold on to each other.”

“It won’t always be easy.” Regina said. “I know it won’t. But we just need to remind each other. That we are enough.”

“And we can be in each other’s lives without threatening each other’s happiness. Instead we can build that happiness together. As allies, not as adversaries.”

“As family.”

The sisters embraced each other. A few moments later, they heard a whoosh of air, and the smell of sulphur and roses. At the sound of clapping, they pulled back.

“Very good.” Hephaestus said from his seat on the pedestal. “You’ve started an important journey now. Don’t forget the lessons you’ve learned here.”

“We won’t.” Regina said. She looked past Hephaestus, and saw a gold-laced door with fragrant red roses entwined through the laced grille. “We’ve passed?”

“You have. Go. My wife is waiting for you.”

“Thank you, Hephaestus.” Zelena said. “Can… can I ask a question?”

“You just did. I’ll let you ask another one though.”

“These quests… they aren’t about Robin at all, are they? They’re about my sister. Regina.”

“It is her journey.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“But that’s the answer I have. It is Regina’s journey. What exactly that means, I think you’re both only beginning to understand. Safe journeys.”

Hephaestus disappeared in a cloud of sulphuric smoke, which dissipated quickly with the overpowering scent of roses coming from the door.

Regina moved towards the door, but stood in front of it with trepidation, as if she was afraid to open it.

“What’s wrong?” Zelena asked.

“It is my journey. And Hephaestus’ wife is Aphrodite. The goddess of love, beauty and pleasure.”

“You’re afraid of what is on the other side of that door. What demons it could bring back.”

“I am. Can you blame me?”

“No. But remember whatever it is, you are stronger than it. **We** are stronger.”

“Then let’s do it.”

Once again, they stepped through a door and into the light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally made it out of Hephaestus' realm! Getting here actually involved me reading academic-level articles about forgiveness, compassion and empathy to come up with a way to get them out. What I learned was that the most important thing to being able to move on from the pain of the past is giving up the emotions that keep you there - anger, fear and so on. Forgiveness and reconciliation can only happen if you direct your energy towards a new goal, a new positive future. And forgiving yourself is the first step to be able to seek forgiveness from others. So that is what the girls are learning to do. First test of that will be coming up in Aphrodite's realm, so stay tuned :)


	10. Aphrodite, Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina meets Aphrodite, and learns the real reason why she is making the journey through Olympus.

_“Take away everything I am/Bring it to an end/Make me fall/Make me bleed/Go ahead and change me/Take away everything I am” - Starset, “Carnivore”_

When the light cleared, Regina saw a glamorous parlour room, complete with lounge chairs, chaises and a table loaded with food. It suddenly occurred to her that it had been a long time since they had eaten. Possibly days, and while she imagined that Olympus had been doing something to suppress their need for food and water, seeing the food in front of her, she was suddenly ravenous.

“Come in.” A smooth female voice said. “Have something to eat. I want to talk to you.”

Regina looked to Zelena, only to see that she had vanished. She looked around the room frantically until her eyes settled on a leggy blonde sitting in a luxurious armchair, wearing a dark red version of one of Regina’s favourite evening gowns.

“What happened to my sister?”

“Don’t worry, she’s safe. She’s been moved to a room just like this one, where she can eat and drink and rest, but she doesn’t need to be a part of our conversation. While it is good that you and she are starting to open up to each other, I think there are some things kept more private for now, wouldn’t you agree?”

Regina nodded mutely.

“So come. Sit. Eat.”

Regina filled a small plate with some delicacies from the table, not even looking at what she was taking. Then she sat down in the chair opposite Aphrodite.

“You look nervous.” Aphrodite said, taking a sip from her wineglass. “Why are you nervous?”

“I’m expecting to have conversations with people that I’m not sure I’m ready to have conversations with.”

“Ah.” Aphrodite put down her glass. “That. Well, you’re not wrong. We will be having some conversations with people from your past. But first we need to talk by ourselves, and then you need to get some sleep.”

Regina tensed at the mention of sleep. “I… whenever I close my eyes, I see…”

“I know. You see Robin dying for you. Over and over. You won’t see that here.”

“I won’t?”

“No. You know why you’re here. And you know that you love Robin. And I know it. There’s nothing to be gained from tormenting you with that.”

“But then why…”

“Why did you have those dreams in Hermes’ realm? I can’t answer for my brother. But I can promise you peaceful dreams here.”

“Thank you. So I don’t need to prove my love to you?”

“You know that’s not what this is about, Regina. Your love is evident. You wouldn’t have gotten here if you didn’t love truly.”

“So Zelena was right. It is about me.”

“Yes.”

“About confronting everything from my past?”

“That’s a part of it. But not all of it.”

“It is about how I respond to that past.”

“You could say that.”

“And you’re the goddess of love and pleasure.”

“I am.”

“So what did you want to talk about?”

“Love, what else?”

“That’s a broad subject. And… not one I’m very good at. I’m still learning to love.”

“Let’s start there. After you lost Daniel - and I promise, we will get back to him later - when did you start to love again? Romantically, I mean?”

“Well, I’m not sure if Graham counts. I took him to my bed, both in the Enchanted Forest and in Storybrooke, but… I didn’t love him. It was about power.”

“We’ll get to Graham later as well. But that doesn’t answer my question.”

“It was Robin. But I resisted at first.”

“Why?”

“So many reasons. I didn’t feel like I deserved it. He irritated me because he could see through me - my masks, my walls. And of course, the idea of him scared me, because he was fated to be my soulmate. My True Love.”

“Those are not the same thing, you know.”

Regina looked up and frowned. “They’re not?”

“No. True Love is a sacred magic, but it is not the same as a soulmate. True Love, while powerful, is also fluid. It can disappear. It can belong to multiple people - you know this, since you broke the curse by giving your son True Love’s Kiss, but Robin is also your True Love. Soulmates are usually True Loves, but True Loves are rarely soulmates. Soulmates are an even rarer magic.”

“I don’t understand. Is it something Tinkerbell did? Did she create my soulmate?”

“No, not even fairies are that powerful. But they can tell when someone has a soulmate. And while fate does typically bring soulmates together anyways - as you know, since you rejected the first opportunity you had to meet Robin, he still came into your life - fairies can help speed that process along. As Tinkerbell tried to do for you.”

“Why? What would that accomplish? What’s so special about a soulmate compared to a True Love?”

“It is right there in the name. Soul. Mate. Your souls are connected. One needs the other to be at its happiest.”

“That sounds an awful lot like needing a man to be happy.”

“It doesn’t have to be. Soulmates aren’t always romantic partners. But they are connected. They feel each other’s pain. They communicate with each other on a level that others cannot. Why do you think Robin could see through you so easily?”

Regina’s eyes widened as realization dawned on her. “What Hermes said. About the Olympian Crystal not completely destroying Robin’s soul. That’s why, isn’t it? Because we’re soulmates?”

“It is. A piece of his soul resides in you. That’s something that Hades did not know, and did not account for.”

“Does that mean I don’t even have to be here? That Robin would just reappear in Storybrooke like Hook did? Are he and Emma soulmates too?”

“No, he wouldn’t have. It is an extremely powerful bond, but just wishing for it wouldn’t make it happen. And no, Emma and Hook are not soulmates. As I said, it is an extremely rare magic. There is only one other couple in recent memory - your human memory that is, not the memory of a god - who are soulmates.”

“Let me guess. Snow and Charming.”

“That would be the obvious choice, but no. They are merely True Loves. You can contemplate that question, for you do know them, but it is not relevant at this time.”

“So I did have to come here to bring Robin back.”

“Yes.”

“If I hadn’t, he’d just be… lost in the ether forever?”

“Not forever, but for now. The use of the Olympian Crystal on soulmates hasn’t happened before, but I would imagine that when you died, the pieces of your souls would find each other, and then you would move on to a happier place.”

“Why didn’t Tinkerbell tell me that soulmates were even more unique and rare than True Loves?”

“I can’t answer that. Fairies’ business.”

“I thought you knew everything here.”

“Fairies, they’re… a breed apart. Some people consider them the angels of heaven. Which would be here, on Olympus, as it were. But we don’t recognize them as such.”

“Wait, they have dark origins?”

“Not exclusively. But there is a streak of darkness in most of them that they like to deny. But we’re not here to talk about fairies. Back to Robin. Why did you feel you didn’t deserve love?”

“A number of reasons. My mother had taught me since I was young that love was weakness. It is only recently that I’ve learned that love is strength. Also… I didn’t feel that I deserved it. After everything I’d done. Rumplestiltskin said that casting the Dark Curse would leave a hole in my heart that could never be filled.”

“He was right and wrong about that.”

“I am beginning to understand what that means.”

“That’s good. Why don’t you tell me?”

“It isn’t something that could be filled as long as I was still filled with darkness, the feelings of vengeance and hate. As long as I still embraced that, I would be trapped, and wouldn’t be able to love. But if I put aside the darkness, and embraced the light instead, then I could love again. That started when I adopted Henry. But that only fully actualized when I broke the second curse, and when I defeated my sister with light magic. Both without my heart.”

Aphrodite nodded. “So that’s how he was wrong. But how was he right?”

“He was right, because… because leaving the darkness behind isn’t enough. Being good now doesn’t erase what I did in the past, no matter how much I might wish it or how much I’m not that person anymore. Call it karma, call it justice, but I can’t help but think that Robin died because of me. Not because he stepped in front of that Crystal to save me, but he threw his lot in with someone who had such darkness staining their soul. And unless I can cleanse myself of that… I’ll continue to bring pain to everyone I know. No matter how good they are. Being close to me will lead them to ruin.”

“So now you understand why you are here.”

“Because Olympus is the only place where I could go through the trials necessary to purge myself of that? And then be able to live life with a clean slate?”

“Precisely. You’ve been through several trials already. Coming face to face with your soulmate’s first love and turning her away from the darkness. Learning to work together instead of against your sister and trusting your instincts. Recognizing that you and your sister have plenty of challenges to deal with, but that you are stronger together than you are apart.”

“And now… past relationships? Understanding the problems with them in the past, so they don’t repeat in the future?”

“We can start there. But for now, I think we’ve talked enough. You can rest in the next room. Sleep. Be at peace.”

“Thank you, Aphrodite.”

“When you’ve had your rest, come back here and we’ll get started.”

Regina nodded and stood, then wearily dragged herself to the bedchamber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... who do you think the other soulmates are? Taking guesses :)


	11. Aphrodite, Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina sleeps, and dreams of Robin... but is it really a dream? Warning: Sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regina's been having a tough time, and it is only going to get harder from here on out, so here, have a happy peaceful interlude for both you and her :)

Regina entered the bedchamber, and shut the door behind her. She closed her eyes and leaned back against the door, trying to process everything that had happened since the last time she’d been in a proper bed.

Robin. Hades. Olympus. Dionysus. Marian. Hermes. Hephaestus. Zelena. Zelena was everywhere. Regina sighed, grateful for a moment of peace apart from her sister.

Regina stripped off her clothes and went into the attached bathroom, drawing a warm bath. She sighed as the warm water worked on her sore muscles as she scrubbed the accumulated dirt and grime off of her skin. She winced as she scrubbed her sore and bleeding feet, but was happy to not have dirt caked onto the cuts anymore.

Once she was clean, Regina drained the tub and dried off. She found medical supplies in a cabinet and applied antiseptic to her feet, then wrapped them in gauze bandages. She pulled on a silk nightgown that was in her size and lay back in the luxurious canopy bed.

Her last thoughts before sleep overtook her, repeating in her mind over and over and over, _I’m coming Robin. I am. I love you. Please let me not dream of your death again._

* * * * *

Regina opened her eyes, and the first thing she noticed was that it looked like the walls of the room had fallen away. She was still in the same bed that she had fallen asleep in, but it looked like she was in the middle of some salt flats.

The second was the arm wrapped around her waist. She gasped and turned to find… Robin.

“Hello, my love.” He murmured.

“Am I dreaming? I must be dreaming. I haven’t finished all of the trials yet.”

“You are dreaming. But that doesn’t mean this isn’t real. We’re here now. And this is true.”

“I lost you.”

“You will always have a piece of me inside your heart. That’s why I wasn’t afraid. Despite what Hades said. I knew I would see you again.”

“I hope I’m strong enough to get through these trials.”

“You are. I know you are. You are the strongest person I have ever met.” Robin dropped kisses along Regina’s hairline, and she sighed in relief. “I am so glad that you are doing this. Not only to bring me back, that is a selfish wish I admit on my part, but what that means for my son. My daughter. That I can be in their lives again. But this is most important for you. So that you can truly move on from your past.”

“What if I don’t survive?”

“This is Olympus. No one dies here. There can be pain and suffering, certainly, but it won’t kill you. Remember that.”

“I’m just so scared that I won’t be able to do it. That they’ll send me back to Storybrooke and I’ll have lost you.”

“I have faith in you, Regina. I always have. I always will.” Robin pulled her lips to his, and she felt the pain and sorrow drain away with just the one kiss.

“Robin…” she whimpered, breaking the kiss for air, resting her forehead against his. “Don’t leave me again.”

“I’m always with you.” He whispered, pulling her onto him, running his hands up her thighs and under her nightdress.

Regina sat up, letting Robin pull the nightdress off of her, and rocked against his hips, feeling him hard under her. After disposing of the dress, Robin lifted her hips, adjusting himself, and she sank down onto him with a soft sigh.

Regina wanted to close her eyes in pleasure, but fought the instinct, concentrating on Robin’s serene face, not wanting to miss any moment of seeing him. He thrust up into her lightly, softly, barely moving, just feeling them together.

“I love you.” Regina whispered. “I… I never got to say it. I regret that so much now.”

“You will. When you bring me back. Let us never forget to say those words. I love you, Regina.”

“I love you, Robin.”

They rocked together for what felt like eternity. After a time, Robin gently switched their positions, settling Regina back on the pillows and moving in longer strokes. He moved one hand down to stroke her, and they tumbled over the edge together.

Robin moved to pull out of her, but Regina pulled him close and clung to him fiercely. “Don’t go. Stay with me. Stay. Please.”

Robin kissed her deeply, hooked one of her legs over his hip to keep himself from slipping out of her and adjusted their position so that they were both on their sides.

“I don’t want to wake up.” Regina said, tears pricking her eyes. “I don’t want to leave you. I want to stay here.”

“Shhh.” Robin said, holding her close. “You can do it. Finish the trials. Then we can be together. Always. Know that I love you. That I believe in you. You can do this, Regina. We will have our happy ending.”

“I love you Robin.” Regina whispered, tears flooding her cheeks as she buried her face in Robin’s chest. “I will always love you.”

“I love you too, Regina. Be strong. Be strong and we will see each other soon.”

Regina held tight to Robin’s chest, feeling his strong warm arms wrapped around her, his steady breathing. She felt herself getting pulled away, she was waking up, _no no no_ , she was waking up…

* * * * *

Regina woke with a start, looking around the bed, and with sorrow noted that Robin was no longer there. She was back in Aphrodite’s realm. It had all been a dream.

Or had it?

She was no longer wearing her nightdress. She felt a pleasant ache between her thighs.

_Maybe it was real._


	12. Aphrodite, Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina meets Graham for the first time since she killed him, and he has a strong message for her.
> 
> WARNING: This is where all of the warnings I warned about earlier come into play. If any of the following make you uncomfortable, DO NOT READ this chapter: Graphic violence of the kind that would make one dead if they weren't in an immortal realm at the time. Also, mentions of rape and infidelity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An extra warning: THERE IS GRAPHIC VIOLENCE IN THIS CHAPTER. Please keep this in mind.

Regina got out of bed to find that her clothes had been magically cleaned while she had slept. She put them back on, then went to wash her face.

Looking in the mirror, Regina saw that while there was still a shadow of exhaustion on her face, she felt more rested and peaceful than she had since Robin’s death. She felt refreshed, and ready to take on whatever else she needed to to be able to bring Robin back.

Regina wasn’t sure if what Robin had told her in the dream was true - that while she was on Olympus she couldn’t die - but she hoped that it was. She was certain that at some point during this quest that she would have to bleed.

But she was no longer afraid.

Pulling her hair back into a low ponytail, Regina left the room and returned to the parlour, where Aphrodite was waiting for her.

“Did you have a good sleep?” she asked.

“I did. Thank you. I…”

“You don’t need to tell me, Regina. I know.”

“You know?”

“I’m the goddess of love and pleasure, and you are in my realm. Of course I know.”

“Was… was it real?”

“As much as any of this is.”

Regina nodded, biting her lip. She wasn’t quite sure what Aphrodite meant, but she also wasn’t sure she completely wanted to.

Regina took a deep breath. “So… what do we do now?”

“As you’ve probably imagined, we’ll be meeting with three people. Three people who shaped the way you’ve viewed romantic love over the years. There’s first love. Then there are crimes against love.” Aphrodite’s expression darkened. “Crimes that you committed against love, and crimes against love that were done to you.”

Regina bowed her head. “I understand.”

“Your choice is the order in which we see them.”

“I… let’s start with Graham.” Regina closed her eyes and composed herself. “I… I’m ready to see him.”

“Hello, Regina.” Came Graham’s voice. It sounded cautiously neutral.

Regina opened her eyes and looked up at him standing there, back in his Huntsman clothing. Like his voice, his expression was neutral.

“Hi, Graham.” Regina said softly. “I… I’m sorry.”

“Sorry because you have to do this to get your lover back, or sorry because you’re actually sorry for what you did to me?”

“I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t both.” Regina said honestly. “I want Robin back, yes, but I am also sorry for killing you. For raping you. I’ve changed, that’s… that’s not the person I am anymore.”

“Now that’s not strictly true now, is it?” Graham said, circling Regina like one of his wolves. “You violated the first rule of love by raping me. You say you’ve changed since. But you have still violated other rules of love. Fidelity is the big one.”

“You mean with Robin?”

“What else would I mean? You slept with him while he was a married man.”

“That wasn’t really Marian.”

“But you didn’t know that, did you? And he didn’t either. Yet you were perfectly happy to have sex with him while his wife was lying frozen in the next room. Do you have no shame at all?”

“I… I know it wasn’t right. And I had been trying to avoid him. To avoid that. But then he came to me. I wasn’t going to deny him. Not when I wanted him just as badly. He wanted comfort. His soulmate. But why do you care?”

“Marian is an innocent. It was very noble of you to dissuade her from embracing revenge and darkness. Self-serving, but noble. Me? I’m not an innocent. I need no such saving.”

Graham paused in front of Regina, staring her down. The neutral look was gone, replaced with a look of anger and rage. It sent an unpleasant shiver down Regina’s back as he stared into her eyes. But she wouldn’t drop his gaze.

“Well? Are you going to say something?” he asked.

“What is there for me to say? Can I say anything? I don’t think I can.”

Graham moved in close, keeping her gaze, and closed his fingers around her jaw. He pulled Regina to her feet and pushed her against the wall, pinning her there, as she had when she had first taken his heart in the Enchanted Forest.

“What do you want from me, Graham?” Regina rasped as his fingers tightened around her throat.

“I want to watch you bleed.” He said, echoing her own words.

“Then do it. If that’s what will make you feel better, do it.”

“Not going to try to dissuade me?”

“Why should I? You said it yourself. You’re not an innocent. And you’ve always been very focused on your goals. So have I. My goal is to bring Robin back. If I have to bleed for that, that’s a price I’m willing to pay.”

Graham pulled his dagger from his belt and nicked Regina’s wrists, all the while maintaining eye contact, which she also refused to drop, even as she felt blood start to drip down her fingers and onto the floor.

They continued to stare into each other’s eyes for several long minutes. Even though Regina was sure she should be feeling light-headed by now - either from the blood loss, Graham’s grip on her throat or both - she wasn’t, and now she was certain that what Robin had told her in her dream was true.

She couldn’t die.

But she could feel pain. Her throat was aching where Graham was gripping it, and the nerve endings in her wrists burned as the blood dripped over them.

Maybe pain was the point.

“You wanted to watch me bleed.” Regina whispered hoarsely. “Why aren’t you watching?”

“Oh, I’ll watch. At the right moment.”

Graham pressed Regina more tightly to the wall, and plunged his other hand into her chest, yanking out her heart. When his hand was back out, with her darkened heart in his hand, he released her neck and she dropped to the ground with a strangled cry as he squeezed her heart in his fist.

Regina’s hands instinctively went to her chest as she felt the pain coursing through her. She saw the blood ebb faster from her wrists, coating her shirt.

She looked up at her heart in Graham’s fist, and could see that it was lighter than it had been when she’d seen it last - when Robin had put it back in her chest after rescuing it from Zelena. Something had changed. Whether it was her work in Storybrooke, Camelot, the Underworld or Olympus - she didn’t know. But she did know that her heart was regaining the light again.

_There is redemption for me,_ she thought. _It just takes work. And work doesn’t happen without pain._

Graham released his grip for a moment, and as Regina caught her breath she pulled herself up to a sitting position and looked up at him. As their eyes met, he squeezed the heart again. She fell back as the pain went through her again, but she wouldn’t close her eyes, even as tears of pain started to run down her cheeks and mix with the blood that was all over her, all over the floor, sticky as her limbs twitched and spasmed with each squeeze.

“Remember when you did this to me?” Graham growled. “Remember when you squeezed my heart and then made me your pet?”

“Yes.” Regina croaked.

“You squeezed my heart and took me to your bedchamber. And kept me there. For years in the Enchanted Forest, and then again at your beck and call in Storybrooke for 28 years.”

“I remember. Is that what you’re going to do to me?”

“No.” Graham said, disgusted. “I am a killer. I am not a rapist.” He squeezed her heart harder than he had before.

Regina curled up into the fetal position, tears blurring her vision as more blood ran onto the floor, but still kept her eyes on Graham, even if she couldn’t see him clearly. The pain was agonizing, but she was not dead. And she wouldn’t be dead. She’d squeezed enough hearts to know that she should have been dead by now if it was possible.

“You feel this?” Graham squeezed her heart again. “This is how it felt when you killed me.”

“I know. All I can do is say sorry. But I know it can never be enough.”

“I can stand here and do this for days.”

“There’s nothing stopping you.”

“Why are you here, Regina? Why don’t you just go back to Storybrooke and find yourself a new plaything?”

“Robin is not a plaything.” Regina forced herself back to a seated position, swiping the tears from her face as much as she could, even though that left smears of blood across her cheeks. “I love him.”

“What would you know about love?”

“Look at my heart if you don’t believe me. You know what I’ve done. You know my past in all of its blood, darkness and pain. My heart should be darker than it is. But it isn’t, because I opened myself up to love.”

“You don’t expect me to believe that.”

“How else can it be explained?”

“Trickery.”

“You can’t trick a heart into lightening. Otherwise Rumplestiltskin never would have been in danger of dying from a dark heart. I love. I love truly. That is why I am here. That is why I am doing everything I need to to bring Robin back. Back to the world that he was cast out of because of me. What happened to him wasn’t fair. It was my fault. So I’ll suffer and bleed if I must to bring him back. I’m fighting for love. What are you fighting for?”

“My life. My dignity. And for all of the innocents that you’ve killed whose hands should remain clean.”

“Those are noble ends. But my purpose remains.” Regina balanced herself against the wall and pulled herself to her feet. “You can squeeze my heart as much as you want. Make me bleed out ten thousand times over. Gods know I deserve it. But I am not going back to Storybrooke. I fought against love for so long, but now that I know what love is, I won’t do it again. Now I fight for love. I’ll fight and I’ll bleed and I’ll die for it. But I will never abandon it. I know I can’t undo what I did to you. I can’t defend what I did. So do what you have to for your satisfaction, but I will not turn away from my goal.”

Graham came back up to Regina and held her against the wall by the throat again with one hand, while still lightly squeezing her heart.

“Fine. But don’t think you’re going to get this back right now. I don’t forgive you. But we will meet again, and you will have to get this back before you leave Olympus, or you’ll die the second you get back to Storybrooke.”

Graham let go of her and stepped back, squeezing Regina’s heart one long time so that she dropped to her knees again. Then he put her heart in the pouch on his belt and finally dropped her gaze, turning and walking out of the room without looking back.

Regina lay back on the floor, acutely aware that she was lying in a way too big pool of her own blood. She put her hand to her chest, feeling the loss of her heart, fearing what its lack might do to break her resolve.

_You can still do this._ A voice inside her head told her as she closed her eyes. _Remember, you started to love Robin without it. You broke the curse by giving Henry True Love’s Kiss without it. A heart is just an organ. Your love does not live in it unless you give it permission to._

She would not give it permission. She would love with every fibre of her being. She would love fiercely. Truly. Completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we haven't seen the last of Graham! He'll be back.
> 
> I knew Regina's treatment of Graham is something that would need to be addressed, and I spent a long time trying to figure out how. A lot of people are willing to see past Regina's other crimes - even her wholesale murder of entire villages - but they won't forgive Regina's rape of Graham, since they see rape as an unforgivable crime, while they consider other crimes - even murder - to be forgivable. So in deference to that, this chapter has played out the way it has, but this is ultimately a redemption story and Regina will be redeemed. But I suppose that part goes without saying, since that is, after all, what we came here for. I don't think that the Regina haters who believe Regina is unredeemable would be reading this fic anyway.


	13. Aphrodite, Part IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina decompresses after her encounter with Graham and prepares to face Leopold.

“Regina.” Aphrodite’s voice brought her back to consciousness.

Regina opened her eyes and looked up at Aphrodite, who was standing over her with a concerned look on her face.

“Are you all right?”

“You witnessed that. Seems something of an odd question.”

“Well, I suppose the real question is am I asking that emotionally or physically?”

“Point.”

“So, emotionally, how are you?”

“Honestly, about what I expected. I knew not everyone would grant forgiveness. And it doesn’t really surprise me that Graham would be one of those people, all things considered. But what he said… I will have the chance to get my heart back at some point while I’m on Olympus, yes?”

“You will. The time and place of that, however, is out of my control.”

Regina nodded and pushed herself to a seated position, wincing at her wrists, which were still oozing blood, though not pulsing like they had when Graham had been squeezing her heart.

“And physically? How do you feel?”

“Like I just died ten times over. But I’m still here.”

“Do you want to clean up before you see Leopold?” Aphrodite asked gently, reaching out a hand. Regina took it and stood up gingerly, acutely aware that she was soaked in blood - her blood - from head to toe.

“May I?”

“Of course. I want you to be as comfortable as possible when you meet him. It is on your terms.”

“Even though I killed him.”

“It is not my role to judge on matters of death. Only on matters of love. You transgressed the rules of love when it came to Graham, so he had the upper hand in your meeting and it transpired as he wished. But when it comes to the rules of love and Leopold, he is the one who transgressed. Anything - or anyone - you wish to be present for the meeting with Leopold, I can grant that.”

“Okay.” Regina said slowly. “May I think it over while I clean up?”

“Certainly. I’ll be waiting when you’re ready. There’s a needle and thread in the bathroom for you to use if you wish to stitch up your wounds.”

Regina nodded and walked slowly but steadily to the bathroom in the bed chamber, resting against walls as necessary. Graham’s squeezing of her heart might not have killed her, but the pain had been real and just as intense as it was when it was used to kill, and he had done it many times over. Spasms of aftershocks still trembled through her body at regular intervals.

She stepped into the bathroom and shed her blood-soaked clothing on the floor, hoping that she could find something else suitable in the closet. After wrapping some gauze around the slashes on her wrists to staunch the bleeding temporarily while she washed, Regina stepped into the hot water in the tub and watched it turn red immediately - not just a tinge of red, but as if she was sitting in a tub of her own blood.

Regina drained the water away immediately, and refilled the tub, scrubbing the drying blood off of her skin, out of her hair, and down the drain. She had to fill and empty the tub three times before the blood was completely gone.

Once she was done there, Regina dried off and then sat down at the vanity and pulled out the promised needle and thread. She was used to magic-ing away injuries, but given how Aphrodite had specifically mentioned the needle and thread, that told her that any kind of magic probably wouldn’t be working on her injuries at this juncture.

Regina sterilized the needle and thread, then unwound the bandages that had been holding her wrists during the bath. They started oozing fresh blood almost immediately. Wincing, she jabbed the needle into her skin and sewed up the slashes with small stitches, twenty in all on each wrist. Another swipe of antiseptic across the wounds, and then she wrapped gauze gently around each wrist to protect them.

Regina assembled an appropriate outfit from the closet that had been provided for her. She knew with Leopold she wanted to project confidence but not arrogance - show that while she knew killing him was wrong, that she had not let him break her.

Leopold had never been outright cruel. She hadn’t lied to her sister about that. But he had controlled her. He had known that his young bride was unhappy, but had still not permitted her anything that would make her happy - except for her apple tree.

He would come to her in the night, and while he was gentle as it went, he never cared about her and it wasn’t her name on his lips, but that of his first wife, Eva. How could Regina have believed in love in these circumstances? Tinker Bell had shown the possibility to her, and perhaps so much pain could have been averted if she had run away from the King and started a new life with Robin right then. But the lingering hurts in her own life would have remained, and she wasn’t sure if meeting Robin at that stage would have done anything to heal them.

Not to mention that they wouldn’t have had had Henry or Roland or Robin’s newborn daughter. And she would not trade them away for anything.

Regina thought back to a series she had read in the years before Emma had come to Storybrooke. She couldn’t remember the title, but she remembered several lines of it, since for a long time she had a series of them written on the mirror of her vanity:

_When Love cast me out, it was Cruelty who took pity on me._

_It is a fine line, in all of us, between civilization and savagery. To any who think they would never cross it, I can only say, if you have never known what it is to be utterly betrayed and abandoned, you cannot know how close it is._

_If I’m to be damned for what I’ve done, I’ll be damned in full and not by halves._

But now, different lines rose to her mind: _Pain redeems all. It is the awareness of life, a reminder of death._

_I will try to be good._

And: _It’s funny, how one can look back on a sorrow one thought one might well die of at the time, and know that one had not yet reckoned the tenth part of true grief._

Now she understood grief many times over. And the lengths she was willing to go to heal it. She would confront Leopold. Show him the steel beneath the fragility he had known.

She decided on the long dark blue evening gown with the open back, that matched the one she had had back in the Enchanted Forest, and hoped she would have the chance to change again before leaving Aphrodite’s realm, because she knew it wouldn’t be practical for the rest of Olympus. Her hair was not as long as it would have been in the Enchanted Forest, but she still wound it into an intricate braid that fell over one of her shoulders.

Regina applied a few light touches of makeup - lipstick, mascara - and then stood, taking a deep breath. _Am I ready to face Leopold?_ She thought. _I don’t know. But he no longer controls me. I control me. He is no impediment to me loving Robin. I love Robin._ While her chest still ached with the loss of her heart, she could still feel her love for Robin in every cell of her body. It wasn’t going anywhere. His soul fragment - the soul fragment holding him to life - wasn’t contained in her heart, but with her love for him, which was everywhere.

Regina smoothed her hair back and headed out the door, nodding to Aphrodite.

“I’m ready.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who are curious as to what books Regina is quoting from, the answer is the _Kushiel’s Legacy_ series by Jacqueline Carey. I highly recommend them, especially to Regina fans. I can totally see Regina relating to Phedre, the main character of the first trilogy, and especially that first line I mentioned: _When Love cast me out, it was Cruelty who took pity on me._ It seems particularly apt for Regina.
> 
> While this series can be intense - sex, violence, the whole lot, since Phedre is a courtesan who is cursed/blessed by the gods to experience pain and pleasure as one - they are a fantastic read.


	14. Aphrodite, Part V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina meets Leopold for the first time since his death.
> 
> Warning: Mention of rape (non-graphic).

Regina took a seat next to Aphrodite, eating some more food from the banquet table.

“Is there anyone you wanted to have present for this meeting?”

“I thought about that.” Regina said, chewing slowly. “I thought perhaps Mother, but… no. I don’t need her here. She has her own history with Leopold that would distract from what we’re here to do. I’ll be fine on my own.”

Aphrodite nodded. “Very well. Shall I summon Leopold?”

Regina took a few deep breaths. “Yes. Do it.”

A few moments later, Leopold walked though the door on the far side of the room, surveying the space, eyes settling on Regina.

“Regina.”

“Leopold.” Regina said in a neutral voice.

“What brings you to Olympus? Are you dead?”

“I’m not.” Regina turned to Aphrodite. “Has he not been watching?”

“Some of the dead do, some don’t. He hasn’t been watching you, not purposefully anyway.”

“Only incidentally as it comes to my daughter.” Leopold said, sitting down across from the women. “I am happy that you no longer seek her head. That you have become friends. That is all I ever wanted for you.”

“So you were ready to marry a girl, barely a woman, a third of your age for her?” Regina tried to keep her voice steady. “I was eighteen years old. You were close to sixty.”

“Fifty-eight.”

“My love died because of you. Daniel. My mother was so intent on me marrying you that she killed him.”

“I had no hand in that. What Snow said to you that night - that I would have understood and released you from the obligation to marry me - that would have been true. Had I known.”

“My mother wouldn’t have cared. She still would have killed him. She wanted me to be queen.”

“What is it that you need from me, Regina? Now?”

“I… I want to know why you still controlled me if all you wanted from me was a mother to your daughter.” Regina stammered, confidence waning. “Why you would come to me in the night, when all you wanted was Eva.”

Leopold sighed. “I also had a kingdom. You know that there are expectations. If I let you have your own courtiers, your independent life, people would talk. Everyone wants to be royalty, but we are more constrained in our lives and affairs than commoners.”

“It isn’t a life I wanted.”

“I know it isn’t. But it is the life you were given. And there are expectations with it. Smile at parties. Don’t do anything untoward that causes people to gossip. And a husband has relations with his wife.”

“Relations.” Regina scoffed. “That’s the euphemism you’re going to use? I was a sad, lonely heartbroken girl. You raped me. You stole my innocence from me.”

“We were married. I know things are different in the realm you live in now, but in the Enchanted Forest, if two people are married, they have an obligation to share their bodies with their spouses. That is part of the marriage contract.”

“I didn’t agree to it. My mother agreed to it. I wanted no part in it.”

“But you still came to the castle. You still said your wedding vows.”

“What choice did I have? I tried to flee, but my mother brought me back. If I had gotten away, what would you have done? Or better, if I had gone into that tavern and met Robin Hood when Tinker Bell first told me about him, if I had run away with him, what would you have done?”

“Torn the realm apart to find you. Then hanged the thief. Because no one steals from me. I made that clear to the genie when he was courting your heart as well.”

“Did you know the genie harboured feelings for me?”

“Of course I did. I also knew that you had no such feelings for him.”

“You did? But you read my diary.”

“I did. But you were not so subtle in your hatred of me and my daughter as you thought. Once the genie came into our lives, I began to see the darkness that lay within your soul. The darkness that is still there. You think I didn’t know that you were meeting with that imp?”

“Why didn’t you stop him from coming to me?”

“He was the Dark One. Trying to prevent him from doing anything would be a fool’s errand. He needed you miserable, and I made you that. I reckoned my chances of survival were pretty good. At least until the genie. Who you sent to kill me.”

“Can you blame me for that? Given the pain and suffering I was in?”

“Perhaps not.”

Regina looked at Aphrodite. “I’m not sure what this is accomplishing.”

“You need to release the pain and anger that you still hold with regards to him.” Aphrodite said gently.

“Do you need me to apologize, Regina?” Leopold asked.

“I’m not sure what that would accomplish. I don’t think you would mean it. When I apologized to Graham, I meant it, even when he held my heart in his hand and made me bleed. All you’ve done is excuse your actions. Say it was for your daughter. For the kingdom.”

“It was. I did what I had to.”

“I said the same thing for many years. I believed it. That everything I did was necessary in the pursuit of what I have now.”

“Do you still believe that, Regina?” Aphrodite asked. “Could it be that the reason you can’t move on past Leopold here is because you also hold those beliefs, that you did what you had to do?”

“I…” Regina trailed off. “I see what you’re getting at. And while I would like to say that I’d take it all back, all the pain and hurt that I caused… I can’t. Am I sorry? Do I apologize for it? Sure. But I won’t take it back. I can’t because of what it did bring me in the end. Henry. Roland. Robin’s daughter. If I said I’d take back everything I did… they would not be. I would not condemn my children to non-existence, not for anything.”

Aphrodite nodded. “A parent’s love is the strongest love that there is, soulmates aside. And while what you did brought you to these three lovely children, you didn’t know that at the time, did you?”

“I didn’t. But without it, they wouldn’t be.”

“You’re not wrong.”

“I’m not sure where we’re going with this.”

“You’re leaving out a child that came into your life.”

“Snow.”

“Yes. She was your first child.”

“I… can’t see her as a child. Let alone my child. She was just eight years younger than me. I wasn’t ready to be a mother to someone who was so close to my own age.”

“And yet, she was a part of your life. And still is a part of your life.”

“I help and protect her children like they were my own.”

“And one of her children is…”

“The biological mother of one of mine.”

“So with everything you did and sacrificed and went through to have your children in your life… remember that it all started with Snow.”

“So what you’re saying is that… when considering all of the blood that I spilled to get the life I wanted, the first blood that was spilled… was mine?”

“It would certainly seem that way.”

“I’m not going to thank him for it.” Regina waved towards Leopold.

“I wouldn’t expect you to.” Aphrodite said. “But if you acknowledge it, then you can let go of that hurt, or put it into a separate box, the box of things you do for your children.”

Regina sat and closed her eyes. Part of her resisted it, knowing the ache deep within her, that had started with Leopold in her life, the prison he had kept her in for eight years. Something that had caused her grief and fear that she had only started to let go of with Robin’s safe and steady presence in her life.

But if she had been able to start to let go of her pain and fear with Robin, then why shouldn’t she be able to let go of the rest for her children? She was going to hell and back, so to speak, for Robin. She would do the same for any of her children. So why shouldn’t she acknowledge it?

Regina opened her eyes and looked at Aphrodite, but not at Leopold. “I acknowledge it. I don’t forgive him, but it is a pain I will accept and acknowledge and let go of for my children’s sake.”

Aphrodite nodded and waved her hand. Regina heard a light whooshing sound, and when she looked, the chair where Leopold had been sitting was empty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not totally sure how I feel about this, but... it made sense that while Regina might be angry about her life with Leopold and as his queen, it was the start to the family that she has now, and that without Leopold and Snow, she wouldn't have it. So she has to acknowledge that to move on.


	15. Aphrodite, Part VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina reunites with Daniel.
> 
> Warning: You may need some tissues.

Aphrodite turned to Regina. “Are you ready to see Daniel, or do you need a minute?”

“A few. Please.” Regina stood up and paced around the room.

“Is there anything you would like to talk about? Now that Leopold isn’t here?”

Regina stopped and rested back against a wall. “I don’t know. I’m just… it never occurred to me that everything that brought me to my son wasn’t just what I did, but what was done to me.”

“People don’t live in a vacuum.”

“I know. But I’ve always liked to think that I made all of my choices in life, but I’ve learned in recent years that so many of my choices were not mine at all. They were orchestrated to a point that what felt like a choice was barely a choice at all.”

“But now you’re seeing them for what they are.” Aphrodite said gently. “You are seeing what choices were made for you, what choices you could have made differently. Knowing is half the battle. The other half is learning from them.”

“Am I learning?”

“I think you’re beginning to.”

Regina nodded and went back to her seat next to Aphrodite. “Okay. I’m ready to see Daniel.”

She looked towards the door, her breath catching in her throat as the door opened, and Daniel walked through - Daniel as he really was, as he had been that night in the stable when Cora had killed him, not the tortured version of him that had emerged from Dr Whale’s science experiment.

Regina couldn’t help herself. As soon as he came through the door, she jumped up and leaped into his arms. “Daniel.” She said sorrowfully. “It’s really you.”

“Hello Regina.” Daniel said softly, hugging her back, stroking the back of her hair gently. “I am so proud of you. You found it within yourself to do what I asked.”

“Do what?” Regina asked, pulling back and wiping away a tear.

“Love again.”

“I hope that’s okay. I don’t want to hurt you with that, that I love someone else…”

“Regina.” Daniel gripped her shoulders gently. He was always so gentle. “Of course I’m not mad. You found your soulmate. That is such a precious and rare gift. I wouldn’t want you to be alone for the rest of your days because you lost me. I know you love me, and always will, in a special way. And you also love Robin, but in a different way. There is nothing wrong with that. Love is not a finite commodity.”

Regina looked at Aphrodite. “Am I meant to let go of Daniel too? Is that what I have to do to move on? I don’t know if I can.”

“You don’t. By loving Robin you have healed that part of your heart.”

“Then why is Daniel here?”

“It wouldn’t be a complete journey through your romantic relationships if he wasn’t here as well. You have not transgressed against each other. You loved each other with the intensity that young love has. So consider this a safe and protected moment where you can be together again. A respite from the painful moments that you’ve just had. I’ll go. When you’re ready to move on, just call for me.” Aphrodite blinked out of the room.

Regina turned back to Daniel and rested her forehead against his. “So… how much of my life have you seen?”

“All of it. I haven’t left your side.”

“All…”

“The good parts. And the bad parts.”

“You saw what I turned into.” Regina said sorrowfully, stepping back from him and turning away, wrapping her arms around herself.

Daniel grabbed her arm and pulled her back to face him. “And I saw you turn back. I am so proud of you for that. Coming out of darkness is the hardest thing in the world, and you’ve done it.”

“Not enough. Otherwise Robin wouldn’t have died and I wouldn’t be here.”

“But once you’ve passed through all of the realms here… then you won’t need to worry anymore. Your karmic slate will be clean.”

“You really believe that? You think that I can make up for all of the things I did as the Evil Queen?”

“I do. Some of it involves understanding parts of yourself, and then going on in life continuing to do good. Some, well, I saw what happened with Graham…”

Regina buried her face in Daniel’s shoulder. “I can’t apologize for what I did to him. Not in any sort of meaningful way. I worry that I’ll never get my heart back.”

“You will. He has a right to his anger, but he can’t deprive you of your heart forever. You will get it back.”

“There’s more pain to come though, isn’t there? I’ve slaughtered too many villages for that encounter with Graham to be the only pain I experience here.”

“There is. But you’re a strong strong woman, Regina. You can handle it. You know it can’t kill you. You might wish it could, when you feel it. But I promise you, you will survive it. I believe in you.”

Regina looked up into his warm safe eyes. “Have you always?”

“Have I always believed in you? Yes. I never stopped believing in you.”

“Even when I was at my darkest?”

“Even then. I knew the woman I fell in love with.” Daniel stroked her jaw lightly, mindful of the bruises that Graham had left there. “I knew one day you would remember that pain wouldn’t bring you happiness. But that love would. Your mother might have taught you that love was weakness, but deep in your heart you knew it wasn’t. You knew it was strength. That’s why you always craved it, even when you feared it. Thankfully, Robin was stubborn enough to push through your walls.”

Regina smiled ruefully. “It did take awhile.”

“Tell me about him. I only know what I’ve seen. But that isn’t the full story. Not what you feel. Not what he feels.”

“Are you sure you want me to tell you about my soulmate? Doesn’t that… seem weird?”

“Not at all. I love you Regina, and I want to you to be happy. I have long since passed over to Olympus. I made my peace. I will treasure our past together, short as it was, and I know you do too, but Robin is your future.”

“Okay.” Regina led Daniel over to a loveseat in the corner. “What do you want to know?”

“When did you fall in love with him?”

“When he rescued my heart from my sister’s spell.”

“When did he fall in love with you?”

“When I saved his son from the flying monkey. So quite a bit earlier.”

“You ran the first time you saw his tattoo, even though you’d been flirting just before. Why?”

“Knowing who he was… I knew it couldn’t just be idle chatter anymore. That it would be a commitment. And in that moment, it still scared me. I wasn’t ready for it. But after talking to Tinker Bell, and later to Snow, I was ready to embrace it. See what could happen.”

“And now you’re here.”

“And now I’m here.” Regina looked at the armrest of the loveseat and played with a loose string.

“Don’t be afraid.”

“I’m not afraid.”

“Regina. I’ve known you since we were teenagers. You’ve always seen yourself as not worthy. Not deserving. But you are worthy. You do deserve this. Do you know what will happen when you pass Zeus’ test?”

“I’ll have Robin back?”

“More than that. You’ll have accomplished something that no one else has.”

“You mean no one has ever succeeded before?”

“No one has ever tried before. They all take the route to the Underworld, like you did with Emma to get Killian for her. No one else has launched a direct challenge to Olympus before.”

“No one else has had to, I bet. In most cases, the Underworld would suffice.”

“Not always. But no one has ever dared to challenge the might of the Olympians before, let alone Zeus himself. But you did it without a second thought. You abandoned that fear you’ve carried around for so long. You have so much fire and love inside you, Regina. You are doing the impossible.”

Regina looked up at Daniel with tear-stained cheeks. “You think I can succeed?”

“I know you can.” He kissed her lightly on the forehead. “And when you do, you can have the life you’ve always wanted. Free of fear. Free of the pain of the past. And know I’ll be watching over you.”

Regina smiled. “Thank you, Daniel.”

“It’s time for me to go now. But you know what you need to to keep going. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Regina and Daniel embraced one last time, and then he left the room, smiling back at her as he went out the door. Once the door was closed, she sat back down on the loveseat as Aphrodite appeared next to her.

“When you’re ready to move on to the next realm, just say it. I’ll call Zelena and you can be on your way.”

“I just need to change into something more… practical.”

“Sure. Take your time.”

Regina returned to the bedroom for a final time, and chose a new outfit to replace her bloodstained one that was still on the bathroom floor, but in the same style. Dark shirt and blazer with skinny jeans. Remembering Hermes’ realm, she also abandoned her heels for more practical footwear.

She unwound her elaborate hairstyle, putting in a simple braid down her back. Taking a deep breath, she headed back to the parlour.

“All right. I’m ready.”

Aphrodite waved her hand, and Zelena appeared next to her.

“Are you all right, Regina?” Zelena asked with concern. “I was worried about what this realm could have done to you…”

“I survived.” Regina said. “Graham took my heart. We’ll need to get it back later.”

“Graham? That Huntsman?”

“Yes.” Regina averted her eyes, seeing that Zelena wanted to talk more on the subject, but right now she didn’t. “Look, we’ll talk more about it later. Right now though, I just want to move on to the next realm.”

At those words, another door appeared in front of them. Like the door to Hephaestus’ realm, it was of steel and fire, but this time with glistening panels of what might have looked like red stained glass to the casual observer, but Regina could tell they were blood. She shuddered.

Zelena saw the shudder. “Are you sure?”

“I am.” Regina said firmly. “Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it has been a long, painful and emotional road through Aphrodite's realm for Regina, but now we move on to a realm that promises to be even more painful: Ares, the god of war. What do you think will befall Regina in Ares' realm? Feel free to leave a comment!


	16. Ares, Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina and Zelena meet Ares, and face his challenge.
> 
> Warning: Some violence, but not particularly graphic.

_“Can you tell me what is real?/Cause I've lost my way again/Can you tell me how to feel?/Cause I don't feel anything/Now that I'm down here again/I'm down with the fallen again” - Starset, “Down with the Fallen”_

Regina and Zelena stepped into the next realm to the sound of clashing swords and screams. Regina recognized the sounds of a battlefield. But the battle - while raging all around them - appeared to keep its distance, as if there was a force blocking them from approaching too close.

“Why are they ignoring us?” Zelena asked.

“That would be my doing.” Came a voice from behind them.

“Ares.” Regina said as they turned around.

“In the flesh.” Ares was tall, with dark hair grazing his shoulders, and a full leather battle ensemble. He had a large flail in his right hand. “Disappointed to see me?”

“Not disappointed, more… nervous.”

“You’re right to be. There, beyond that barrier? Those are all of the souls that you’ve sent to me. Well, excepting a few of course, who you’ve already met or will meet separately. These… are all of your victims. The men, women and children you sent to their doom. Usually not by your own hand, of course, but their blood still stains your soul.”

Regina willed herself not to close her eyes. She had to see them. She couldn’t not face them. But there were so many that all of the faces blurred together as blades clashed.

“So what do I have to do?” Regina asked as she looked out over the battlefield.

“It is really quite straightforward.” Ares said. “See on the other side of the battlefield? There’s the door. I’ll be waiting there for you. We’ll see how you make out. Also… no magic. Swords only.”

Two swords appeared on the ground, and Regina and Zelena both picked them up, Zelena looking at hers apprehensively.

“Don’t worry.” Regina reassured her. “I’m good with a sword. And we can’t die in Olympus.”

“That’s not quite true.” Ares said.

Regina whirled around to face Ares. “What do you mean? In Aphrodite’s realm I learned that I can’t die on Olympus. And I bled out ten times over and Graham squeezed my heart enough that I should have died if I was able to.”

“You can’t die. But _she_ can.”

“What?” Regina and Zelena exclaimed together.

“Be seeing you. Enjoy the battle. You’ve got 30 seconds to prepare.” Ares disappeared.

Zelena turned to Regina, the look of terror evident on her face.

“What do we do, Regina? I’ve never fought in a battle without my magic before. And if you can’t die but I can, that means they’ll be coming for me.”

“I’ll protect you.”

“What if that’s not enough? You can’t die, sure, but what if someone separates your arms from your body and your head over somewhere else? I’m dead.”

“Zelena. Breathe. Just breathe. We can get through this. Just hold that sword up, stay back to back with me and follow my lead.”

The shields separating them from the battle came down.

The dead surged towards them, and Regina didn’t know what to do, besides instinctively parrying with her sword, keeping the dead at bay from her and Zelena, who had abandoned her post behind Regina and was now hovering by her side, slashing out with her sword in a fast blur such that no one could come close. Not fancy swordplay and she wasn’t hitting anyone, but it was at least effective in keeping any attackers at bay.

Regina parried and parried and parried, but they were still standing in the same spot where they had started, and were making no progress toward their goal on the other side of the battlefield.

_Is this what Ares wants?_ Regina thought. _For us to be stuck here, until I get tired and miss a blow and can’t protect Zelena anymore? Is Zelena supposed to die? Do I have to be alone again?_

_No._ Came the whisper in Regina’s mind. _Love is strength._

_But what does that mean? I can protect Zelena with my temporarily-immortal life, but what does that accomplish? That is merely the obvious here. There has to be more to it than that. Killing those who can’t be killed, who I already killed in another life, doesn’t accomplish anything._

_Love._ Came the whisper again.

_Love. Pride. Humility. Penance. Redemption._ All these words came up quickly in Regina’s mind as she tried to find a thread of hope to work with. _I could accept whatever fate was due to me from Marian and Graham because it was only me I had to worry about. But now I’m the least of my worries. Yet they still want both of our heads._

_Or maybe not._

Regina took one hand off her sword and grabbed Zelena by the back of her collar, and threw her to the ground, standing over her, keeping the dead at bay, who paused their attack to see what was happening.

“Regina, what are you doing?” Zelena shrieked.

“Stay down.” Regina ordered, then looked out into the faces of the people around them. She took a deep breath and then addressed them.

“I know I’ve wronged you. I’ve wronged you in so many different ways. But my sister hasn’t done anything to you. She’s innocent in this.”

“So were my children, but you still had them slaughtered.” A young man with a twisted scar down his face said. “Why should we show your family the mercy that you lacked?”

“Because if you don’t, then you become me. I was bereft and full of anger and vengeance. I felt righteous when I was slaughtering your families, because you were sheltering Snow White, who I held as responsible for the death of my first love, Daniel. I considered it just. But vengeance only creates more vengeance. More violence against innocents. It has to stop. It is a cycle that has to be broken. Do what you will to me, I deserve it and more, but know that if you touch one hair on Zelena’s head I will make you wish you were dead all over again.”

Regina stood tall over Zelena, chin held high, sword out, daring anyone to challenge her. She could feel the stitches in her wrist tugging painfully as she hefted the weight of the sword in just one hand, but she refused to let it show on her face. She needed to stay strong.

The dead looked at each other. There was some mumbling up and down their ranks that Regina could not hear. Then they all turned back to face the sisters.

The same man with the scar spoke. “Fine. We will grant her safe passage. But not you. You will fight us.”

Regina bowed her head in acknowledgement, then reached out a hand to help Zelena stand. As soon as she was on her feet, the dead appeared to clear a path to the other side of the battlefield. Zelena squeezed her sister’s hand.

“Good luck, Regina. Thank you.”

“Thank me when this is over.”

Zelena started to head down the path, but out of the corner of her eye, Regina spotted a dagger flying through the air, heading straight for Zelena’s back.

Without thinking, Regina flung herself between the dagger and Zelena, feeling it pierce her chest through where her heart should have been, the force of it knocking Regina into her sister and knocking them both down.

Suddenly, Regina started to feel light-headed, and before she lost consciousness, the last thing she saw was Zelena pull a bloody hand away from Regina’s back, where the tip of the dagger had nicked her as well.


	17. Ares, Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina discovers that she no longer has Olympian immortality, and the dead decide on a different challenge for the former Evil Queen.

“Regina. Regina! REGINA!” As Regina regained consciousness, she could hear Zelena yelling her name, voice frantic.

She opened her eyes slowly, and Zelena let out a sigh of relief. Regina noticed that her head was in Zelena’s lap, and that there was a sharp pain in her chest, but the dagger was no longer there.

“What happened?” Regina asked groggily, trying to sit up, but failing.

“Someone threw a dagger at me. You jumped in front of it to save me. It stabbed you right through where your heart should be, and then when you fell on me, the tip of it nicked my hand.”

“And I passed out, even though everything that Graham did to me didn’t make that happen.”

Ares appeared next to them. “That’s because there’s been a… hiccup.”

“What do you mean, a hiccup?” Regina finally forced herself to a seated position, though the pain in her chest was still there. “I thought you controlled everything in this realm.”

“I don’t control Olympus. And Olympus has its own rules.”

“And what changed?”

“You… aren’t immortal anymore.”

“What do you mean? What…” Regina looked at the blood on Zelena’s hand. Some of it was hers, while some of it was also Zelena’s.

“When you jumped in front of Zelena to save her from that dagger, it stabbed you, and then nicked her. Your blood entered her veins. And there can only be one immortal mortal on Olympus at a time. You transferred the immortality to her.”

“So can’t she… give it back?”

“Doesn’t work that way. When it’s gone, it’s gone.”

Regina swallowed hard. “So I… I have to survive the rest of Olympus without any sort of protection? And with a hole in my chest?”

Ares hovered his hand over Regina’s chest, and the pain ebbed away. “This one is a freebie. But the rest… yes. You’re vulnerable now. And you’re still sworn to fight them.” He waved his hand to indicate the dead, who were still there, but hanging back on Ares’ command.

Regina got to her feet with Zelena’s help and looked at the dead in front of her. “I guess there’s no point in waiting.”

Ares nodded and Zelena squeezed Regina’s hand reassuringly. Zelena stepped back next to Ares, and then both of them disappeared in a swirl of red smoke.

Regina swallowed again, alone now, and picked up her sword. She squinted, trying to make out the outline of the door in the distance.

As she firmed up her grip on the sword, she saw that the dead weren’t coming for her, even though she had expected them to charge as soon as Ares had vanished. Instead, they were murmuring to each other.

“What’s going on?” Regina asked. “I thought we were doing this.”

The man with the scar spoke again. “In light of your immortality being stripped, we feel that a battle scenario is not in our best interest.”

“Why not? One of you could get lucky.”

“But then the others do not get their fair share in justice. And as much as some of us might want you dead, our purpose here is to teach you a lesson, not to have you join us. Lord Ares!”

Ares appeared in a swirl of red smoke, without Zelena. “Yes?”

“We do not wish to do battle with the Queen. We think the gauntlet might be a more appropriate method.”

“Hmm.” Ares considered, tapping his chin. “For her, or for others?”

“That would be entirely her choice.”

Regina’s blood went cold and she dropped her sword as soon as she’d heard the word “gauntlet”, and she felt completely frozen when she heard “her choice”.

Regina had been a commander of armies for years in the Enchanted Forest. She knew what a gauntlet was - a military punishment where the guilty party would have to walk between two rows of soldiers who would then strike them in some manner as they went by. She had overseen a number of such punishments as Queen. Even though the gauntlets she’d presided over were never very long, the person subjected to them would rarely be able to walk away on their own.

And there were many more dead in Ares’ realm than there were in her army regiments. She suspected this gauntlet would be much much longer.

The only question was, who were these others, and how would it be her choice?

Ares turned to face her. “This is what will happen. I will reach into the mortal world and pull a person that you care about out of it, and bring them here. It could be anyone. They will see you, they will have what is going on explained to them. Then you will be given a choice - send them down the gauntlet, and watch what happens to them, or you can choose to take their place.”

“How… how many people?” Regina asked, trying to prevent her voice from trembling. She’d step down that gauntlet ahead of any of them if she had an idea as to what might happen.

“That’s the catch. I’m not going to tell you. If you throw yourself on that sword too much to begin with, then you might not be able to protect someone who really needs it. Because while you probably won’t die, if you can’t walk, you can’t take someone else’s place.”

There was always a catch with war gods. And this was it.

“Well, let’s get started then.” Regina said, forcing her voice to stay calm.

Ares nodded, and waved his hand. Regina saw a shimmer, and an image of Snow appeared in it. Within seconds, it was a portal, and Snow was standing there in front of her and Ares.

“Regina!” Snow exclaimed, running up to give her stepmother a hug. “What’s going on? Where am I?”

“You’re in my realm.” Ares said. “On Olympus. I am the god of war.”

Snow let go of Regina and looked at Ares apprehensively. “Regina… what’s going on? Emma told us you and Zelena came here, it’s been days, we’ve been worried, but… why am I here?”

“Regina has come to Olympus in search of her soulmate’s soul. To retrieve it, she’s been set the task of going through the realms of all twelve Olympians, completing a variety of tests.”

“To prove her love? I think just being here proves that.”

“It’s more than that, Snow.” Regina said gently. “I… I have a lot of bad karma. And things to make up for. This isn’t so much a journey to prove my love, but a journey of redemption.”

“Like I said, I am the god of war.” Ares said. “Regina has a lot of souls to appease that she’s cast into death as a result of her wars. This is taking the form of running the gauntlet. I told her that I will reach into the mortal world and bring over people she cares about. Then she can choose whether they will run the gauntlet, or whether she will. Keeping in mind that she doesn’t know who or how many people I will bring over, and that if she can’t walk, then she can’t protect them, so there’s a limit as to how many people she can sacrifice herself for.”

Snow nodded, swallowed and turned to Regina. “I’m the first?”

“You are.”

“So what will you?”

“I… in Aphrodite’s realm, I learned that I’ve shed a lot of blood - both mine and the blood of others - to form the world and family that I have today. The world where I have my children. Who I would do anything for. And while I did not like the circumstances in which it came about… you are one of those children. I won’t let anything happen to you.” Regina kissed Snow on the forehead.

“Thank you, Regina.” Snow said, turning to look at Ares. “Do… do I have to stay for this?”

“You do.”

Snow nodded solemnly and kissed Regina on the cheek. “You’re so strong. You know that I’m here for you. That all of us are. You can do this and we will be waiting for you and Robin back in Storybrooke.”

Regina smiled and pulled Snow into a hug again. “Thank you for your faith in me.”

“Let’s go.” Ares said. “Take your place, Regina.”

Regina pulled back from Snow, who gave her another reassuring smile, and followed Ares through the crowd of dead, who were forming into two lines, until they reached the other side. Looking back, Regina could see Snow standing there at the end of the gauntlet. She couldn’t make out the expression on Snow’s face, but hoped that it was still reassuring and not full of the terror that she felt forming in her gut.

“Three simple rules.” Ares said, drawing a line in the dirt at the beginning of the gauntlet. “I know it is called ‘running the gauntlet’, but running is not allowed. You walk in time with the drums. It starts when you cross this line, it ends when you cross the line on the other side. And you don’t get to fight - feel free to try to protect yourself, but no attacking back.”

Regina nodded and took her place at the line. She could hear the drums start up in an even but slow beat.

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and stepped over the line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the next chapters are going to get bloody and brutal. Be warned!


	18. Ares, Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina goes down the gauntlet for Snow, and then Ares' second choice comes through the portal...
> 
> WARNING: This chapter has a lot of graphic violence in it, as one would expect for someone running a gauntlet. Be aware!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saying it again: Warning of graphic violence!

Regina felt the first blow hit her right shoulder, but felt determined not to flinch. However, it only took the second blow, which hit the left side of her head and made her stumble, to tell her that she needed to try and protect herself as much as she could.

She opened her eyes and raised her arms to ward off blows to her head. She looked ahead and could see that while the first people weren’t armed with anything but their fists, she could see that people up the line had nasty-looking cudgels, shortswords and whips.

_I gave these people worse._ Regina reminded herself. _I owe them this. No one else does, my friends and family have no part in this, it is all on me._

Regina kept her wits about her, and was able to ward off most blows coming for her head, except for one that cracked her across the face. She heard the bone snap and she knew her nose was broken, blood dripping down her face.

She had made it about halfway down the gauntlet when a kick came out of nowhere and surprised her, catching her on the right knee, and she stumbled to the ground, feeling the blows of metal-tipped whips coming down on her back, shredding her shirt quickly. She pulled herself to her feet and kept going.

A sword ghosted across her forearm, leaving a line of blood in its wake, but from their aim, Regina could tell that the dead had been instructed not to just run her through. That would have been too easy.

By the time she stumbled over the finish line, Regina was blinking blood out of her eyes from a cut from a whip tip that had caught her on the left eyebrow, and favouring her right knee, where it had been kicked, but she was still standing.

Snow rushed up to her right away. “I’m so sorry, Regina.” She said, supporting her as she slowly sank to the ground. “I wish this didn’t have to happen.”

Regina smiled wryly at her stepdaughter. “But it does. Robin died because of me. Because of the bad decisions I made in my life. If I can cleanse myself of them… find redemption… then we can live in peace. Maybe all of us can. So this has to happen.”

Snow returned Regina’s earlier gesture and kissed her on the forehead. “I’m proud of you, Regina. Stay strong.”

“Time to go.” Ares said, and as the portal shimmered into existence again.

Regina caught a glimpse of Emma in the portal before Snow stepped into it. “I meant it, Snow. I won’t let anything happen to our family.”

“I know.” Snow smiled a sad smile as she stepped into the portal, as Emma stepped out of it.

As the portal closed up behind Snow, Emma looked around in confusion. “What’s going on? Regina, what’s happened to you? Mom just disappeared into thin air a few minutes ago and now she’s gone back while I’ve come through a portal? Am I on… Olympus?”

“You are.” Ares said. “Ares, god of war. Pleased to meet you, Saviour.”

Ares told Emma what he had told Snow, and her eyes widened in shock. She saw Regina pulling herself to her feet determinedly, and ran over to her.

“Regina, no. That’s what you look like after just one trip through? You can’t. I can do it.”

“Emma, no, you don’t deserve this. This is my history. My darkness. You’ve already taken on darkness for me once. I can’t ask you to do it again. I won’t. And I just promised your mother I wouldn’t.”

“It’s not about me.” Emma hissed, wary of Ares’ presence. “If I do it, I only have to do it once. You have who knows how many possible times. What if Henry comes through that portal next?”

Regina’s eyes widened. She hadn’t considered that Ares could even go for Henry. He was just a child… wasn’t he?

“I won’t touch Henry.” Ares said. “Emma, you don’t need to worry.”

“Why not?” Regina asked suspiciously. “Why does that make me think there’s a specific reason for that?”

“My mother has forbidden any of us from touching Henry.” Ares said carefully, clearly knowing more than he was saying.

Regina turned back to Emma. “See? You don’t have to worry. I won’t put you through this. Not after what you’ve gone through these past weeks. This is something I have to do.”

Emma smiled one of her broken teary smiles, and held one of Regina’s hands carefully, mindful of the bruises and cuts covering it. “I wish you didn’t have to.”

“The choices I made led me here, Emma. It’s the only way if I want to live a life free from the taint of my past.”

“I get it. I do.”

“Less chatting, more doing.” Ares said. “Emma, you will stay here and watch.”

With one last glance back at Emma, Regina followed Ares back up the gauntlet, trying to walk as tall and proud as she could, even though her right knee was really starting to hurt.

Regina took her place at the line again and thought, they will not break me.

The drums started again.

For the second time, Regina made her way down the gauntlet. She kept a close eye at the blows coming towards her, and managed to ward off any aiming for her head. But a particularly large club hit her in the left hip, knocking her towards the other side of the line, where another club hit her in her already sore right knee, dropping her to the ground again, as more clubs rained down on her shoulders until she was able to drag herself to her feet again.

Another whip sang across her forehead, and more blood started to pour into Regina’s eyes as she tried to clear her sight. Her shirt was hanging off her back, in shreds, and she felt another blade slice across her thigh, denim parting like it wasn’t even there to leave blood welling up in the sword’s wake.

Regina knew she was on the verge of getting completely disoriented, and her feet almost didn’t want to carry her forward, but she blinked the blood out of her eyes to focus on Emma standing at the end of gauntlet. Just twenty more feet. Ten. Five.

Regina staggered over the line and fell right into Emma’s arms, the blonde having been ready to catch her.

“Thanks.” Regina rasped, voice suddenly hoarse.

“You did it for me.” Emma rested her forehead against Regina’s, despite the cuts on it, and Regina started to feel a healing warmth flooding through her head, though it didn’t reach to the rest of her body. Regina was about to open her mouth to speak when she looked into Emma’s eyes and saw the message clear in Emma’s eyes.

Ares probably shouldn’t know that Emma’s healing me. At least enough so that I can think. She can’t heal all of me otherwise it will be too obvious. But at least now I can think.

Emma pulled back, and there was blood smeared across her forehead. “You can do this, Regina.” She said. “We all believe in you. I’ll tell Henry how brave you are. And that you’ll be home soon.”

“I hope so.” Regina said. “With Robin.”

“You can do it.” Emma said. “You love him. And you’ll have your happy ending.”

“Thanks, Emma.”

Emma helped Regina sit down on the ground, and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze before Ares shimmered the portal back into view.

Despite the fact that her head was feeling better from Emma’s surreptitious healing, Regina felt the pain flood through the rest of her body, overwhelming her to exhaustion. She sank back onto the hard pebbled ground, wincing at the rocks and dust invading her wounds, but not finding it in her to care. Her eyes closed as she waited for the next person to step through the portal.


	19. Ares, Part IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charming goes the gauntlet for Regina, and someone she doesn't expect turns up...
> 
> Warning: More graphic violence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning again: More graphic violence! This is a gauntlet in the realm of the god of war, after all.

“Regina?” came Charming’s voice, bringing her back to full consciousness.

_Why did it have to be him._

Regina opened her eyes and struggled to sit up, but the prince was there in an instant to help her.

“Regina, you need to rest. Snow told me what is happening here. You don’t to have to do it again. I can.”

“No.” Regina said, trying to get to her feet, but Charming kept her firmly on the ground.

“Regina, you did this for my wife and daughter. To save them. Emma said Henry’s safe, but he’s not the only one who could be vulnerable here, is he?”

Regina looked at Ares warily. “Is Henry the only one under your mother’s protection?”

“Yes.”

Regina’s eyes widened. “No.” She breathed. “You wouldn’t.”

“That’s not what I need to hear from you right now. What I need to hear is whether you’re going to run the gauntlet again, or if the prince is going to do it.”

“I am going to do it.” Charming said firmly, standing up.

Regina stood up behind him. “Charming…”

He turned to face her, resting his hands gently on her shoulders. “It’s okay. Like I said, you did this for my wife and daughter. I can go back after the one round. You can’t. I’ve been through worse. And if by taking this one, that means I can help protect others who might get called here after me, then I have to do it. You understand.”

“I do.” Regina whispered, looking at the ground.

“Don’t feel guilty. I know you’re working hard to change. And have been for a long time now. Against all the odds, I trust you now. You’ve saved Storybrooke more times than I can count. So this time, let me save you.”

Regina nodded, and Charming stepped away from her and followed Ares up the gauntlet. She sank back down to the ground, to conserve her strength and take her weight off her injured knee, but kept her eyes on Charming.

The drumbeat started, and Regina watched Charming proceed down the gauntlet. He walked with confidence, and it wasn’t until a club cracked him in the shoulder and he stumbled a bit that she could see his concentration broken. He righted himself and kept going.

She winced as she saw swords slicing him along the chest, but they didn’t break his stride, not did the audible crack she heard come from his jaw when a fist hit him there. He stepped over the line and while Regina could tell he was winded, he still looked in better shape than she had been.

Regina stood up and made her way over to Charming, who was bent over, hands on his knees, as he took in deep breaths.

“I’m sorry.” Regina said tearfully, touching his shoulder lightly, seeing the extent of the damage the whips had done to his back.

Charming straightened up and looked Regina in the eye. “Don’t be. Don’t cower. Don’t let them break you. Have confidence.”

“I have confidence.” Regina retorted.

“You put on a good show, Regina, but I know you. You project confidence, but you don’t always believe it. Believe it now. Believe in yourself.”

Charming knelt and kissed her hand as a lover or a liege would, and then strode towards the shimmering portal Ares had created.

The person who appeared through the portal next wasn’t who Regina was expecting. She was expecting the pirate or Maleficent or even one of the Merry Men.

It was Tinkerbell. Dressed in a simple green variation on the nuns’ outfits, but Tinkerbell nonetheless.

“Regina!” Tink exclaimed. “What happened? Where are we? What’s going on?”

“This… this is Olympus. I don’t know how many days have passed in Storybrooke since Zelena and I left, I don’t know how much you know…”

“I know you went to the Underworld. I didn’t know you’d come back.”

“So you don’t know. I guess the Charmings have been keeping it quiet. Okay, well, we came back from the Underworld, but so did Hades. He had the Olympian Crystal.”

Tink gasped, and Regina had to remember that she was a fairy with a great deal of magical knowledge. She must have heard of it.

“Hades tried to kill me with it. But Robin… Robin jumped in front of me. He died instead. I came to Olympus - this is Olympus - to save him.”

“Because he’s your soulmate. So he can come back from it. Most people can’t.”

“So I’m told.”

“But why are you covered in blood? You don’t look good, Regina.”

“That would be my doing. Ares, god of war.” He stepped up to the women.

“What have you done to her?” Tink asked with an angry voice.

“It’s okay, Tink. I have to do this. Robin… Robin died because of me. Because of all the bad things that I’ve done. I can’t be happy. Not until I atone for what I’ve done. This journey through Olympus… it is the way I can redeem myself so that I can finally be happy without my past hanging over me.”

“But why am I here?”

“This test involves taking people from Regina’s life and bringing them here. One at a time. Then she has to decide whether to send them down the gauntlet here, or do it herself. She doesn’t know how many people I’ll bring here. And there’s always the chance that I could bring someone who would suffer greatly if they were put through it. And if she can’t stand and walk to take their place… well…”

“You are a cruel bastard.” Tink said to the god of war, and turned back to Regina. “How many times have you done this? You look terrible.”

“I’ve gone twice. To save Snow and Emma. Charming… Charming just went through for me.”

“I can do it.” Tink said. “I’m not afraid.”

“No. No, Tink. I can’t let you. I won’t.”

“Why not?”

“It’s my fault you lost your wings. I made you suffer for so long. I can’t ask you to do it. I won’t let you.”

“Regina, that’s all water under the bridge. I’m a fairy again. I forgive you.”

“But if I let you do it, I won’t forgive myself. Please, Tink. It is something I have to do. My personal atonement for what I did to you.”

Tink closed her eyes. “Are you sure, Regina?”

“I am. Ares, I am ready.”

“You wait here and watch, Tinkerbell.” Ares said. “Those are the rules.”

Tink opened her eyes and nodded. She squeezed Regina’s hand as Regina walked by and followed Ares to the other end of the gauntlet for the third time. Regina closed her eyes, composed herself and waited for the drums to start.

Once they did, she opened her eyes, put her shoulders back and tried to stride with confidence, despite the pain in her knee and opposite hip. She bit her lip in concentration, and had her hands up to stop any blows coming for her head. She was able to halt most of the clubs and fists in midair, though one grazed her jaw and another knocked her broken nose out of alignment.

As much as it hurt, Regina didn’t let it break her concentration, and kept moving herself forward. She grit her teeth and tried to ignore the whips grinding the dirt and grit into her back. A sword scored her along the belly and she let herself let out a hiss at its bite, but she didn’t make any other sound.

Twenty feet from the end, the same clubs came for her legs again, and while she was able to twist out of the way of the one that swung towards her hip, she went straight into the one aimed at her knee and went down hard. As she went down, the club owner swung it back the other way, jolting it even harder and Regina was sure that she felt something crack.

As she was sprawled on the ground, she felt the whips flay off the last connecting threads of her shirt on her upper arms, and as she struggled to her feet the front of her shirt fell away, leaving her in just her bra and increasingly flayed jeans.

Someone got a blow to the side of her head in with a fist as she finally got to her feet, sending her mind spinning, but with a last push of energy, she limped over the line, collapsing in a heap in front of Tink.

“Regina.” Tink said gently, pulling her to a seated position. “Regina, look at me.”

Regina opened her eyes, trying to look at Tink, her eyes unfocused, then closed them again and slumped to the ground, unconscious.


	20. Ares, Part V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tinkerbell stands up to Ares, and Maleficent has her own wrongs to put right.
> 
> Warning: Violence. Not as graphic as the previous chapters, but it is still there. Also, a hint of DragonQueen.

Tink rested Regina on the ground carefully and pulled out her wand, ready to heal her.

“Don’t do that.” Ares said, appearing beside her. “I told Regina, no magic.”

Tink stood up and put the tip of her wand under Ares’ chin. She wasn’t sure how the power of a fairy compared to the power of a god, but she wasn’t going to let her friend die.

“You told REGINA. That means SHE can’t use magic. That doesn’t mean I can’t.”

“You want to help her? Even after everything she did to you?”

“I have forgiven her. It was my spell that led her to Robin. They deserve happiness together. So yes, I am going to help her.”

A jolt of magic came out of Tink’s wand unbidden, and Ares winced as it spread through his jaw. “Fine. But just enough. Just enough that she is still able to do my task. Who knew the Evil Queen had such a loyal following?”

“The Evil Queen doesn’t. But Regina has friends. Friends who will go to the ends of the earth and beyond for her.”

Tink stepped back from Ares and knelt beside Regina’s unconscious form. She ran her wand over Regina with a healing light, and the brunette slowly came to.

“What? Tink? You’re using magic.”

“I am. Saving your life. Had to bully this one here to let me, but did you think I was just going to let you die?”

“I wasn’t going to die.”

“Regina, you had a concussion. That could have been fatal. I’ve fixed it for you. And given you some more strength, in case you have to do this again. But I hope you won’t.”

“Thank you, Tink. For believing in me even before I did.”

“You come home, yeah? We’ll be planning a welcome back party for you.”

Regina smiled weakly. “I will. With Robin.”

“Good. I have to go now. But you keep fighting.”

“Always.”

Tink helped Regina sit up, and then she disappeared through the shimmering portal that now brought forth Maleficent. Mal ignored Ares entirely and rushed over to Regina, a balm of healing rushing out from her hands before she even opened her mouth.

“Regina, my dear, what’s happened to you? Are we in Olympus?”

“How did you know I was here?”

“The pirate, he told me. Why am I here?”

“Glad you could join us, Maleficent.” Ares said with a familiarity that Regina wasn’t expecting.

“Ares.” Mal said, standing back up. “I should have known it was you who did this to my Regina.”

“Your Regina? I believe the reason she’s here is for a certain thief, not for you, dragonness.”

“The thief may be her soulmate, but I love her in my own way. What have you been doing to her?”

Ares described the gauntlet procedure, and Mal firmly placed herself between Regina and the gauntlet.

“My dear, how many times have you been through it?”

“Three.” Regina whispered. “For Snow, Emma and Tinkerbell. Charming also went.”

“I will too.” Mal said, looking over her shoulder at Ares. “You’re in no state to go through that again.”

“I’ve looked worse. Tink already used some magic on me.”

“Doesn’t matter. You need more, Regina. If you have to go through even just one more trip down that gauntlet, you might not survive.”

Mal focused more of her magical energy into Regina, and Regina felt the cracked bones in her knee start to knit together, and the lingering headache subsided. Mal kissed her forehead, and she felt Mal’s love flooding through every cell in her body. It wasn’t the same as healing magic, but it was a soothing balm that lessened the pain.

“Rest, little one. Let me take this round. I owe you for helping find my daughter.”

“How is Lily?”

“She’s a fiery one, but I’m her mother, what else could I expect?” Mal smiled. “We’re getting to know each other. Things are looking positive.”

“I’m glad.” Regina smiled.

“Time’s a-wasting.” Ares said. “If you’re doing this, Maleficent, then you best come with me.”

“I’ll come when I’m ready, Ares.”

Mal took off her jacket, making it into a pillow and had Regina rest back on it.

Regina grabbed Mal’s hand as she went to stand. “Be safe, Mal. I’m sorry it had to come to this.”

“I have my own penance to make. I was a part of your start of darkness. It wasn’t all Rumple.”

Regina pulled Mal in close, and kissed her lightly on the lips. “You might have helped bring me into darkness, but you also cared for me when no one else did. You kept my spark alive. Kept it alive so that it didn’t drown in sorrow and hate. If it hadn’t been for you, Robin could never have kindled the fire of love.”

“I’m glad, Regina. I truly am. I’m happy you found your soulmate.”

“When I get back to Storybrooke, let me help you with your happy ending. I owe it to you.”

“We’ll discuss it, little one. But let me do this for you now. Then when you’re back we’ll get into the rest.”

“Thank you.”

Mal brushed her lips gently over Regina’s and stood up, finally following Ares down the gauntlet, as Regina shifted her position. She had still been lying just over the finish line, where she’d dropped after finishing for Tinkerbell.

Regina stood and moved her makeshift pillow back about ten feet, then sat back down, and slowly settled on her left side. Her right knee was feeling better, but it was still tender, and the open wounds on her back still bled, and she didn’t want to get more dirt and grime in them than there already was.

As she squinted down the gauntlet to see Maleficent and Ares, she could see that Ares had stepped up right into Mal’s personal space as she was positioning herself at the start line. Regina frowned. There was definitely something - or had been something - between Mal and Ares, and Regina would have to find out what it was.

Assuming she survived this. Assuming she got back to Storybrooke. Which was no longer a sure thing. She tried to clamp down on her panic as she heard the drums start, and saw her oldest friend step over the start line.

Watching Mal running the gauntlet brought up a whole host of emotions. Unlike Charming, who Regina had never really cared for and mostly considered a necessary evil in her life since he was Snow’s husband, Mal had been Regina’s dearest and only friend for many years.

Regina smiled when she saw Mal stalking down the gauntlet with her battle face on, but gasped in fear when a hit that Mal hadn’t been anticipating came out of nowhere and cracked her across the nose, just like Regina had been hit. Someone on the other side delivered a vicious kick to her ribs as she was still righting herself, and the confidence that Mal had projected appeared to vanish in an instant. She kept moving, but the look on her face was now fearful rather than confident.

“Come on, Mal.” Regina whispered, sitting up. “Remember the fire inside you.”

After swatting away a few other hits, Mal’s game face returned, but not as confident as what she started with. Regina winced when she saw Mal tumble into the dirt from a particularly strong whip lash across her back, but she was back on her feet and getting closer to Regina with every step.

Just twenty feet from the finish line, Regina saw a heavy club going for Mal’s left hip, and her heart jumped into her throat. She breathed easier when it just glanced off, as Mal was moving more smoothly than the club wielder had anticipated.

Mal stepped over the line and sank to her knees in front of Regina, kissing her forehead. “See?” Mal whispered. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”

Regina trailed her fingers over Mal’s face, and the dragon grimaced as she touched her sore nose.

“You’re not fine, Mal. You’re hurt.”

“It’ll be fine. Just a scratch.”

“Thank you. I feel so weak now, seeing how you and Charming have gone through with your heads held high.”

“My dear, you’ve been through this three times. We’ve only gone once. And you came up with the idea of coming to Olympus in the first place. You’re stronger than all of us. I might be the dragon, but there’s a fierce fire in you. A fire created by your goodness. Your desire to protect the ones you love. That’s something I’m only beginning to understand.”

“You already do, Mal. You were the only one there for me for a long time.”

“That may be true. But I’m only now learning how to be a mother.”

The women rested their foreheads against each other, and Regina felt more of Mal’s healing and soothing energy flowing into her. Then Mal pulled back and put a soft kiss on Regina’s lips, and stood up.

“Stay strong and I will see you back in Storybrooke.”

Regina smiled at her old friend, and Mal headed towards the portal that Ares created, but when she spotted her daughter in its reflection, her eyes went wide.

“NO!” Mal shouted. “No, Ares, not my daughter. Let me stay. Let me go again. Not my daughter, please!”

“Time’s up, Maleficent.” Ares said.

“No no no… not my daughter…” Mal fought to stay back from the portal, but it was pulling her in. As she was almost completely pulled into the doorway, Mal looked over at Regina with pleading eyes.

“My daughter. No. Regina -” Mal was cut off as the portal swallowed her up.

In her place stood Lily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One might ask, if Regina and Mal have a past, why wasn’t Mal present in Aphrodite’s realm? Short answer: Mal is alive. Long answer: While Mal and Regina’s relationship (as far as this fic goes) had a sexual component to it, their relationship is one I’d see as “safe harbour” rather than any sort of romantic entanglement or marital obligation. Mal was who Regina could go to when she was in need of a friend, even in her darkest days. So that makes her relationship with Mal different from her relationship with Graham or Leopold or even Daniel. (Also, if you’ve read any of my other fics, you’ll know that DragonOutlawQueen is my OT3, and I firmly believe that Regina and Mal had a relationship back in the day).


	21. Ares, Part VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After making amends to Lily, Regina learns that there are worse things that Ares could do besides kill her as she risks death to protect her family.
> 
> Warning: Graphic violence. Quite a bit of it. Ares also threatens a child, but said child does not come to harm or witness any harm being done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning again: Graphic violence in this chapter.

Lily looked around in confusion. “Where the hell am I? Regina, you look like hell. What the hell happened to you?”

“We’re in Olympus.” Regina said, standing up carefully, glad that her knee could take the weight now.

“Okay, I know you went to Olympus, but what am I doing here? And as I was pulled through that portal, I saw Mom going the other way. Was she here too? She looked kind of beat up.”

“She was. She was… saving me from having to do it again. This.” Regina waved her hand towards the gauntlet.

“How many times have you been down that?”

“Three times. And if it weren’t for Tinkerbell and your mother, I might be dead now.”

“So why am I here?” Lily asked. “I know you came to save Robin Hood - again - but I don’t know what that has to do with me.”

“This is Ares’ realm. And I have challenges to complete in each realm.”

“Ares is the god of war.”

“Yes. And these people here… I’m responsible for their deaths. Ares… he’s bringing over people who I care about. And then there’s the choice - do I go down that gauntlet, or do they?”

“You made my mother go down it?”

“I didn’t. She chose to. Because she loves me, and could see how much pain I was in after three times of it. She also healed me, otherwise I probably couldn’t stand right now.”

“But why am I here? We barely know each other. I wouldn’t put myself in a list of people you care about.”

Regina’s eyes flicked over to Ares. “We might barely know each other, but your mother is one of my oldest and dearest friends. That’s why, isn’t it?”

Ares nodded, but didn’t say a word.

“But you don’t know me. There’s no reason for you to put yourself through that on my behalf, so obviously I’m going to have to do it.”

“No, you won’t.” Regina said, stepping forward and running her fingers lightly over Lily’s hair. “Your mother would never forgive me. I have to do it. It’s my fault she lost you.”

“No it isn’t. It is Snow and Charming’s fault.”

“Your mother never would have told Snow that she was pregnant if it wasn’t for the Dark Curse. So in the end it is my fault. Like most things are.”

Lily wasn’t quite sure what to do with that information. “So… do I have to stay while you do this?”

“Afraid so. Sorry.”

“Try not to get killed?” That was the best pep talk that Lily could muster.

Regina smiled wryly. “I’ll do my best to make it.”

Regina followed Ares up the gauntlet for the fourth time. She wasn’t sure if she just hadn’t noticed before, or if it was actually that some of the dead were pulling out more serious weapons. Regina saw some spears, nasty-looking canes and switches, and more than a few larger spiked clubs. She tried to suppress a shudder.

Regina stood at the line, smoothing her hair back behind her ears. It had long since fallen out of its practical braid and she didn’t have anything to tie it back with anymore. She took a deep breath as the drums started up again, and tried to concentrate on Mal. Remembering that even the people she called friends had suffered because of her curse. This was her opportunity to cleanse that from her conscience.

Stepping over the line, Regina was immediately assaulted by a rain of bamboo switches on her bare back, and she stumbled from the onslaught. Pushing herself forward, she kept a close eye out for the spears and clubs. Switches would hurt, but cuts and slashes wouldn’t prevent her from being able to walk. A hole in her side or a crushed knee would.

Regina dodged several spears and clubs, but did feel a sword slice across her side. She put her hand to the cut and it came away with more blood than she was comfortable with. While her gaze was on her bloody hand, a club with heavy spikes hit her in the back of her right knee, and she was down. The club hit her in the shoulder and Regina let out a scream of pain.

Her right arm now mostly useless because of the shoulder injury, Regina was forced to drag herself onto her good leg with just the one arm, and then try to ward off any further injury with just her left arm. At least her right arm moved enough so that she could hold the cut on her side closed.

Regina wasn’t sure how she made it to the finish line, but as she fell over it, even Lily looked worried and came up to try and help, but not having any way to, since she didn’t have her mother’s experience with magic.

“What can I do, I don’t know, I’m not my mom, I can’t do anything. I don’t know healing magic or anything. I’m sorry Regina, you didn’t deserve this.”

“But I do.” Regina said tearfully. “Tell… tell your mother that I wouldn’t let you suffer. That I could at least save you from this, even if I screwed up the rest of your life.”

“Regina, you’re talking as if you’re going to die. No. You can’t. My mom would never forgive me if I let that happen.”

“It isn’t your fault. Don’t think it is your fault. You… you can go back to Storybrooke. Whatever my fate is, it isn’t your fault.”

“Regina…” But Ares was pulling Lily away, and pushing her towards the portal.

Regina was about to close her eyes and give up when she saw the image that was flickering in the shimmer of the portal. Instead, her eyes widened and she clawed her way to sitting.

It was Roland.

“No. No Ares. No. I’ll do it. I’ll go again. Don’t bring him here. He doesn’t deserve to see this. No. I’ll do anything. I’ll go twice more if I have to. Just don’t bring him here.” Regina begged, the last remnants of her pride dissolving into the earth.

Ares had pushed Lily through the portal, but he hadn’t brought Roland through, so it seemed like he had at least paused to consider her plea.

Regina pulled herself along the ground to kneel at Ares’ feet. “Please, Ares. Please don’t. I beg of you. He’s just a child. He doesn’t need to see me like this.”

“You talk as if you’re going to go again. You can’t even stand.”

Regina forced both of her arms to work and she pulled herself to her feet. She swayed dangerously, and couldn’t rest any weight on her right leg, but she was upright and staring down Ares defiantly.

“You can’t send a child down that. It would kill him.”

“It could kill you if you go again.”

“Then let it.” Regina said desperately. “But I won’t let that happen to Roland. He might not be my child by blood, but he is like a son to me. I will go down the gauntlet again. But don’t make him watch it. I don’t care what happens to me.”

“Is this your choice?”

“Yes.” Regina said, holding Ares’ gaze.

Ares sighed. “Fine. Follow me.”

Regina hopped her way after Ares, trying to hold on to the adrenaline that had fuelled her desperate plea to Ares. She would need it if she had any possibility of surviving this round.

They made it to the start line, and while Regina was still standing, she could feel exhaustion starting to set in to her bones. She dug deep searching for the fire in her soul, and turned to Ares, tears streaking through the blood and dirt on her face.

“Why, Ares? Why would you threaten to do this to a child? Are you really that cruel?”

“Who do you think you’re dealing with? This isn’t about him. This is about you and what it would do to you.”

“Do you really think I’d acquiesce and let you do it?”

“No. But the thought of it hurts you. And that is the point. Never go for the kill when you can go for the pain.”

Regina closed her eyes and bit back a sob, but his comment had the desired effect in making her furious again, and she opened them again as the drums started, willing herself to make it through.

She’d abandoned her pride. Her sanity was probably on its way out as well. But she would never abandon her love. She loved fiercely.

_Love is strength._ The voice in her mind whispered.

Before Regina stepped over the line, she brought her hands up to her chest, to where her heart would be if it was in her chest.

"Love is strength." She whispered out loud as she stepped over the line.

Regina moved her hands away from her chest to block any blows that were coming for her, and it seemed like everything was moving in slow motion. As much as it hurt, her forearms parried all of the hits coming toward her head, and while she saw at least one deep cut leaving blood spattering down her arm, she ignored it and plowed onward, barely feeling the whips and switches scorching her flayed back.

The same club hit her in the back of the knee again, but Regina was mentally ready for it this time and let it propel her forward, even as it crushed bone. She twisted out of the way of the other clubs until she got to the last few feet, when one last club caught her on the hip, and she spun over the finish line, falling back onto the ground, a peaceful smile passing over her features as she lost consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buffy fans may realize who Ares is quoting in his last conversation with Regina. Virtual cookies to anyone who guesses right!


	22. Ares, Part VII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina recovers from the injuries caused by the gauntlet and reflects on her journey.

Regina opened her eyes to find herself floating in a small pool of clear blue water. She couldn’t see any injuries, and she felt no pain.

_Am I dead?_ She wondered. _Is this what death is? This isn’t the Underworld, that’s for sure._

Robin swam up to her and ran his fingertips over her lips before kissing her. “Hello, my love.”

“Am I dead?”

“No. Just unconscious.”

“Am I going to live?”

Robin smiled. “Yes. And while Zelena is helping to heal you, you are doing most of the work yourself.”

“How?”

“The most powerful of light magic. Love.”

“I don’t think I love myself enough for that.”

“Your love and your willingness to sacrifice everything for the people you care about is what is healing you.”

“How does that even work?”

“I don’t know, you know more about magics than I do, but it is working. We don’t have much time.”

Regina pulled herself out of the floating position and held onto Robin’s strong form, resting her cheek on his shoulder. “Ares threatened your son.”

“I know. And you walked into the fire to save him, without even pausing to think about it. Even if it would mean your death.”

“I wouldn’t let your son get hurt. You know that.”

“I know. And that is one of the reasons I love you. Your selfless love for the people around you.” He ran his hands along Regina’s back, holding her close.

“Can I survive Olympus? You told me when we met in Aphrodite’s realm that I can’t die while I’m here. But then I transferred that immortality to Zelena. I’m vulnerable now.”

“You most certainly are. But I have the utmost faith in you, my love.” Robin shifted his position, pulling Regina’s head up so that they could rest their foreheads against one another. “You are the strongest woman I have ever known, and I have no doubt that you will make it through, retrieve your heart and retrieve my soul so that we can live happily ever after.”

“You really believe that?”

“I do.” Robin leaned in and stole a kiss from Regina’s lips. She held on to his shoulders and wouldn’t let him move back, pouring all of herself into that kiss, until she finally had to breathe.

Robin ran his hand along her hair, stroking her cheek lightly. “You have to go now. But just remember that I love you. I believe in you. And I’ll be waiting for you.”

“I love you, Robin.”

“I love you, Regina.”

* * * * *

Regina came to in a pale white room, the light emanating from the side panels subdued and soft. Zelena was standing over her, green magic coming out of her hands in spurts, Zelena clearly frustrated that it wasn’t working more steadily.

“Hey.” Regina rasped.

Zelena started. “You’re awake! I wasn’t sure you’d live.”

“I’m still here.”

“Barely. You need some serious magical healing if you hope to be able to walk out of here anytime in the near future. Your knee is almost completely pulverized.”

“I’m working on it.” Regina whispered, still tired.

“Your own magic? Is it that powerful?”

“Right now it is.” Regina said softly, a smile forming on her lips. “It’s love.”

Zelena rested her hands on Regina’s bandaged left hand. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you. My last family besides my daughter. My magic could do a bit, but not nearly as much as I hoped it could.”

“You don’t have to worry about that.” Regina said. “I’ll be fine. I just need to rest.”

“Do you want me to go?”

“I’m sure you could use some rest too. I’m not sure how much of that you saw…”

“All of it. It was excruciating. Why wasn’t I asked?”

“Because you’re immortal right now. It wouldn’t be the same if you couldn’t really be harmed.”

“It hurt to see it.”

“I’m sure it did. But rest right now, Zelena. We still have realms to travel. Who knows when we’ll have a chance to rest again.”

“Okay. If you’re sure you don’t want me to stay.”

“I’m sure. I… just need to be alone with my thoughts right now.”

“Good luck, Regina.” Zelena squeezed the bandaged hand delicately. “Heal well.”

“Thanks.”

Zelena disappeared out the door, and Regina took stock of her body and injuries, trying to feel where in particular she should be directing the buzzing white light of healing magic she could feel coursing through her veins.

While she had been unconscious, Zelena must have washed and bandaged all of Regina’s wounds - which meant that most of her body was covered in white gauze. She only felt mild discomfort from lying on her back, and concluded that the whips and the switches hadn’t done too much lasting damage.

Regina tried to lift her right arm, but was quickly stopped by the sharp pain in her shoulder. Her right forearm also had the deep cut on it, and she could see the blood soaking through the white bandage.

By ghosting her left hand over her right shoulder and forearm, Regina was able to direct some of her healing energies into those spots, and then rested back again to take stock of further injuries. Both of her hips had some serious bruising, but nothing felt broken there. Which meant that the bulk of the rest of healing energy was focused into her right knee, which was in shatters. Zelena had immobilized it, but didn’t know what to do further.

Regina thought of Robin, of Snow, of Mal, and focused their love into a soothing balm that took the edge off the pain, helping her drift into a dreamless sleep as the healing energy did its work.

* * * * *

Regina didn’t know how much time had passed when she awoke. She could still feel the magic buzzing through her, but it was quieter. Hopefully that meant that a lot of healing had taken place.

Regina could shift her right arm slightly, but the shoulder still burned and tugged when she tried to move it any further. The bones in her right knee seemed to have started knitting together, but there was still more healing to be done before she would be able to walk on it again.

_Why am I still alive._ Regina wondered. _I should be dead. By rights, I deserve to be._

_But what lesson does that teach._ The voice in her head whispered. _What use is learning if you can’t apply what you’ve learned. For redemption to be worth anything, it is ongoing. Death is an easy answer._

_So there is no redemption?_

_Redemption is a journey, not an endgame. Even completing all of the trials and returning to Storybrooke having atoned for past crimes doesn’t mean the journey is over. It means promising to do good every day thereafter._

_I will try to be good._

_That’s the spirit. And remember the first and most important step._

_What’s that?_

_Forgive yourself._

_Do I deserve forgiveness?_

_Many have already forgiven you. They certainly think you do._

_But those people in the gauntlet, they certainly didn’t._

_They have found their peace now. The dead do not have to grant forgiveness. Atonement is for the dead. Forgiveness is for the living. So that both parties can move on from the pain of the past. And among the living, the one who bears the most enmity against you is you. Forgive yourself, and you will be able to find your way through the next realms much more easily._

_… Robin?_

_Yes, my love?_

_How are you in my head?_

_A piece of my soul resides in you. How else do you think I’ve always been able to find my way around your walls?_

_Because you’re a thief who knows how to get into places he isn’t welcome?_

Regina could hear Robin chuckle. _I might know how to break into physical locations, but minds are a lot more difficult._

_But if we’re soulmates, then how come I can’t get into your mind as much as you can get into mine?_

_Your mental walls can’t keep me out, but they can keep you in. Break free of that prison, milady. You are worthy of love. You are worthy of forgiveness. Be free._

_I… don’t know how._

_Remember how much you hurt as you lost consciousness after the last run?_

_I don’t want to dwell on it._

_You don’t have to. But as you heal yourself, with each injury that fades away, imagine that healing also taking away a piece of your walls. So that when your body has healed, your mind will be headed that way as well. When the pain of an injury fades, imagine that I am picking up a brick from that mental wall and carrying it away. So that when you are healthy and hale again, all that will remain is you and me. Free._

_Not totally free. Redemption is a journey._

_Is it such a bad fate, to commit to do good?_

_I guess not. But it is dangerous._

_We can do it together. Always._

_Always._

* * * * *

It took time, but the burning in Regina’s shoulder subsided, and she could walk again, though her knee was still stiff and tender. But Ares had decided that she was well enough to continue onward, and so she stood before a new door with Zelena and Ares.

Regina stared at the door, trying to focus on it, but the pattern and outline of it seemed to change and shimmer in the moonlight. And was that a silhouette of a stag that flashed by across it?

“You’ll be visiting my sister Artemis.” Ares said. “Her realm… takes some getting used to.”

“Excuse me?” Regina asked.

“You’ll understand when you get there. She’s an odd one, but I think you’ll learn something important there.”

“So I passed your test?”

“Was there any question about it?”

“Well, my other tests haven’t resulted in me convalescing for who knows who long.”

“Oh, that.” Ares waved his hand dismissively. “That is to be expected. What wasn’t expected was how you reacted here. But you chose the right path. Definitely not the easy path. That was important. Now go. Go with peace.”

“Aren’t you the god of war?” Zelena asked.

“I am. But peace has its own challenges.”

Regina wasn’t quite sure what he meant, but she nodded to him, took Zelena’s hand, and they stepped through the shimmering nebulous door to Artemis’ realm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we move on from Ares' realm! In the end there, if you notice, Ares is now paraphrasing Dumbledore. One of my favourite quotes from _Harry Potter_ has always been Dumbledore's line that goes something along the lines of "Someday soon we will all need to make the choice between what is right and what it is easy."
> 
> Now, I should note: It will be a month before we get to Artemis' realm, since I will be leaving for Spain early next week, and will be away for a few weeks. But never fear, I'll be back to the fic once I return! Stay safe everyone, and let's hope that there is hope for our dear Regina as season six starts!


	23. Artemis, Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After passing through to Artemis' realm, Regina is surprised to learn she'll be sitting this one out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! And thus so is this story :)
> 
> Content warning: Mentions of rape (non-graphic).

_“Even a well-lit place can hide salvation/A map to a one-man maze that never sees the sun/Where the lost are the heroes/And the thieves are left to drown/But everyone knows by now/Fairy tales are not found/They're written in the walls” -Starset, “It Has Begun”_

Regina opened her eyes to see a simple room decorated in blues as well as earthy tones. At least she thought it was a room. Like the door they had come through, the walls were… there but not there.

She looked around for Zelena, but as in Aphrodite’s realm, it appeared that Zelena had vanished. She looked around for anyone else, but couldn’t see anyone, though she could sense that she was not alone.

“Hello?” Regina asked into the nebulous half-darkness.

A figure melted out of the shimmering not far from her. A young woman, with long brown hair that wound itself like moving vines all over her body, but with an ancient and serious gaze.

“Artemis?”

“That would be I.” Artemis glided up to her, running a hand along Regina’s cheek softly. “I am so sorry, child.”

Regina frowned. “What do you mean?”

“For everything that has happened to you in your life. I wasn’t responsible for it, of course, but it brings me great sorrow. I have no joy in having you here, because there is nothing that you need to redeem yourself for in my eyes. But my father has decreed it, and so you must be here.”

“Does that mean you’re not giving me any sort of test or challenge?”

“Not directly.” Her expression darkened. “You will be tested. But rather than an active test, it is more passive for you. While you have no difficulty throwing yourself into life or death situations, it is much harder for you to sit back and let someone else take control. And so that will be your test. But the real challenge of it will be performed by someone who has transgressed against me.”

Realization dawned on Regina. “My sister. Zelena.”

“Yes. She gave away her virginity in deception, anger and spite. There is nothing worse than that, save for the taking of it by force.”

Regina thought back to Leopold and shuddered, which Artemis noticed.

“I am so sorry to remind you of that.” Artemis said softly. “If you wish, I could take that memory from your mind.”

Regina shook her head. “Thank you, but no. I must keep all of my memories, good or bad. For they are all a part of who I am.”

Artemis nodded. “If that is your choice. Make yourself comfortable here, I do not know how long this task will take. But I must leave you for a bit, and go explain the rules of the game to your sister. She has an important task, without which you cannot leave Olympus.”

Regina’s hand went to her chest. “My heart.” She whispered.

“Yes. Zelena must retrieve it from one of my stags.” Artemis waved her hand, and a portal-image of a dark forest appeared before them. Regina looked closer, and she saw a young teenager enter the field of vision, looking around in a panic, calling out Regina’s name. A memory twigged and…

Regina sucked in her breath. “That’s Zelena as a teenager.”

“This is the form she will have for her test. You will be able to watch through this portal. But she cannot see it, or see or hear you. I will hope for the best for you.”

Artemis ran her hand over Regina’s cheek again, and then vanished from her side, appearing in front of teenage Zelena, directly in her personal space.

_“I’m sorry.” Zelena apologized. “Who are you? Where is my sister? Why am I wearing these old clothes?”_

_“I am Artemis.” The goddess wore an expression full of fury. “Your sister is safe. Safer than she has been in a long time, because she is in my care. You, on the other hand, Zelena, are not as safe.”_

_Still proud, Zelena lifted up her chin and stared down the goddess. “I have the immortality that Regina was supposed to have, but that she transferred to me.”_

_“This isn’t about your physical body.” Artemis said. “Though you’ll notice, you don’t look like the self you’re currently used to.” She lifted up a mirror, and Zelena’s eyes widened as she took in her teenage self._

_“What is this about then?” Zelena countered. “Why am I here? What is my sister doing?”_

_“Your sister is resting. This task is yours. You have to find her heart.”_

_“I thought this was her journey, not mine.”_

_“That is what my father decreed. But she has no sins against me. You, Zelena, do.”_

_“How have I sinned against you? I don’t worship you. I don’t even know you.”_

_“One of my domains is virginity. And you gave yours away in envy and spite. To hurt your sister and the one she loved. The only worse sin is taking it by force.”_

_“So you’re going to punish me, is that it?”_

_“That is entirely up to you. This is my forest. Stay focused, find your sister’s heart quickly, and you may yet make it out of here with your sanity intact. If you don’t…”_

_“Why do I look like a teenager again?”_

_“A time before envy and spite took over your mind. And a hint of what is to come.”_

_“What does that mean?”_

_“That is for you to figure out. Find your sister’s heart. I wouldn’t waste my time if I were you.”_

_Artemis disappeared, leaving Zelena alone in the forest, starting at the sound of an owl’s hoot behind her._

Artemis reappeared next to Regina. She conjured two comfortable chairs, inviting Regina to take a seat.

“So what did you mean with ‘a hint of what is to come’?” Regina asked.

“If she stays in that form too long, she will start to regress to that age.”

“She wasn’t envious or spiteful or angry at that time, isn’t that a good thing?”

“She was also less skilled with magic. And had different fears. And if she starts to forget herself now, she might forget why she is there and what her task is.”

Regina’s hand flew to her chest again. “How does that help me?”

“It doesn’t. But that is the challenge. If she can hold onto what she knows as an adult, but also remember a time when she wasn’t lost in envy and anger, then that will help her begin her own journey out of darkness. Remember, while you’ve already been on a redemptive path for some time now, she is only just starting her journey. You remember how hard it was for you in the early days. Don’t make the mistake of believing that she is at the same place on her path as you are on yours, just because you are sisters.”

Regina nodded wordlessly and directed her attention back to the portal-image, seeing Zelena rest against a tree, looking around her wildly as she heard a chorus of wolf howls.

_Come on, Zelena. I believe in you._ Regina thought, willing her sister to succeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there might be mixed feelings about Zelena doing a challenge instead of Regina, but a variety of feedback has told me that Zelena should have a more active role if she's to be around, rather than just watching from the sidelines and judging her sister. I think this realm provides an interesting place to explore the things Zelena has to answer for (because I think if there's any Olympian who would have a bone to pick with Zelena, it would be Artemis), while also at the same time challenging Regina to start to trust and not have to control everything around her. Let me know what you think!


	24. Artemis, Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina and Artemis discuss hope, redemption and Regina's biggest believers, while Zelena tries to get her bearings in the forest.

Regina watched Zelena look around her surroundings nervously, hearing the wolves, as well as owls, but not seeing them. Were they close? Would they come close to her? Was she still immortal in her teenage form?

“She won’t be harmed by anything.” Artemis said, as if reading Regina’s thoughts. “She still has the immortality that you transferred to her.”

“Doesn’t protect her mind though.” Regina said warily. “And Zelena’s mind has always been a tricky thing. Her sanity isn’t always quite there.”

“People would say the same thing about you.”

“No doubt. And they wouldn’t be wrong either. I did lose my mind after I lost Daniel. And I’m trying very very hard to not let the same thing happen now. I’m choosing to believe in hope this time. Hope that there is something I can do to bring my soulmate back to me.”

“It was a brave choice. And in seeing what you’ve gone through since you’ve been in Olympus - would you still make the same choice?”

“I would.” Regina answered unhesitatingly. “I know I’ve done bad things. And I know that they will continue to hurt the people around me. But if there’s any way that I can atone for those things, and clear them from my karmic slate, without hurting the people I love… I have to do it. I have to be here and do it for their sakes. I know that redemption and forgiveness are a path I will always have to walk, because that doesn’t stop, and I will always have to remember what I’ve done, but if the sins of my past can be washed from my soul, then at least what I’ve done won’t hurt other people. Because that’s not what I want to do anymore. That’s not who I want to be. I want to be good.”

Artemis nodded. “I understand. It is not an easy path to walk, but it is a worthy one. Do you think your sister will walk it with you?”

“I hope so. But we’ll have to see how she fares here.” Regina turned her attention back to the portal-mirror.

_Zelena looked around herself, unnerved by the haunting cries of the wolves and owls around her. The forest reminded her of the forest that she grew up near, where she would spend days with her adoptive parents, the life of a woodcutter’s daughter._

_But she wouldn’t be in the forest after dark. Her parents had always forbidden it. Her mother for her own safety, her father because he thought her an evil thing and didn’t want her out there cavorting with any other evil creatures that would haunt the night._

_Zelena guessed that she had always been one of them. She had been right. Was there a way out of this endless forest for her now, or would she be doomed here forever?_

_No, she told herself. She had to focus on what she had to do. If she did it, then she would escape the forest. But what was it that she had to do again?_

_Right, find her sister’s heart. Her sister who was her only friend and mortal enemy at the same time. To say their relationship was complicated was too simple. She had a child with her sister’s soulmate. How could Regina ever forgive her for that? How could Robin? She had deliberately played on Regina’s weaknesses, fears and insecurities with that plan of hers. And now, no doubt, despite the claims that Regina made about loving Zelena’s child like her own, Zelena knew that Regina would look at the child and see her own inadequacies reflected back at her. See what she couldn’t do. Could she ever forgive Zelena? Why was she looking for her sister’s heart anyway, if this was a sister who would never forgive her for doing what she did?_

_But not finding it would mean she would be just as trapped in Olympus as Regina herself. She would never get home. Never see her daughter again. Because she had walked through that door with her sister, she wouldn’t be walking back out without her._

_But this meant that Regina had put trust in her. Even if she didn’t forgive Zelena, Regina must have trusted her. What was it that Hephaestus had said? Learning to forgive means learning to forgive yourself first? Regina was such a martyr - would she ever forgive herself? How long would that take, and then how much more time would it take for her to truly forgive Zelena?_

_Zelena didn’t know. But the only way to create that chance would be to find Regina’s heart. Where would Artemis have hidden it? She didn’t have any directives besides “find Regina’s heart”, but she was sure it wouldn’t be that simple. That it would just be sitting on a pedestal somewhere. It was surely hidden within something - or even a creature. But somehow Zelena felt that she would have to tread very carefully on that front, because she knew that harming one of Artemis’ creatures was likely to end very badly._

_Which only served to confirm her suspicion that the heart had to be hidden within an animal. But what animal? Zelena remembered that it was the Huntsman who had taken Regina’s heart. And the Huntsman was connected to wolves, as well as the stags he hunted._

So. _Zelena thought._ Wolves or stags. Stags are probably the safest option to start with. But then what? Do I just rip the heart out of every stag that I can get near? Surely that’s not what Artemis has in mind. So somehow I’ll have to be able to figure out which one has Regina’s heart in it…

_Zelena sighed, brushed off her skirt and looked around her. It seemed like the sounds of the wolves had faded away while she had been thinking, but the sound of the owls was still there._

_Not knowing which way was the best to go, Zelena looked around and set off in the direction of the owls, hoping that they were perhaps guides of some kind, or at least, not animals that would lead her astray._

Regina looked over at Artemis. “You do want this challenge to be successful, right? You do want me to move on to the next realm?”

Artemis turned and stretched out her long legs. “I would like for you to be successful in your quest, yes. But it isn’t going to be easy for Zelena. I hope you understand that I can’t make it easier for her. Not after what she’s done.”

“I understand. I do. I’m just…” Regina rubbed her chest, feeling the ache of her missing heart. “Just with the stakes, it worries me.”

“It wouldn’t be a challenge if it were easy.” Artemis said pointedly. “You always throw yourself in the middle of things. It is like Zelena has told you in the past - you have a martyr complex.”

“Is that bad, though? To risk everything to help others?”

“Not necessarily. But it also depends on why you do it.”

“What do you mean?”

“It has only been recently that you’ve thrown yourself in the middle of everything out of a feeling of love and wanting to help others. It didn’t used to be that way, did it, Regina?”

Regina thought about it. “I guess not. I have done it because I didn’t think I was worth saving, so better whatever it was hurt me than anyone else.”

Artemis snapped her fingers. “There. Exactly that. Your feelings of inadequacy are still something you struggle with. And that you have to work on to be able to truly move on from your past.”

“That’s easier said than done.”

“I know it is. But you can do it. And that’s one reason that the gods are on your side here. While the challenges you’ve done and will have to do aren’t easy, and they test you in many different ways, in the end, we do want you to succeed. Because we do believe that Hades’ actions destroyed something - someone, rather - that was helping you overcome your inadequacies and fears.”

“Robin.”

“Yes.”

“I never knew the Olympian gods cared so much.”

“You’ve always been a force to be reckoned with, Regina. You’ve been on our radar. And for someone to come clawing their way back from the darkness they landed in - it isn’t an easy task. And given how far you fell, the fact that you’ve been making your way out of it has in of itself been a remarkable feat.”

“I don’t think that’s my doing. That’s Snow’s fault. She never gave up on me.”

“But it wasn’t Snow that started your turn back to the light. Your way out of darkness started before she remembered who she was.”

“Then who… Henry.”

“Yes. And your selfless love for him was evident from the beginning. The fact that you gave yourself a forgetting potion proved that.”

“Forgetting potion?”

“Of course, obviously you don’t remember that. After you adopted Henry, you thought that he might have some sort of genetic disease, so you got Sidney to get his mother’s - Emma’s - medical records. That’s when you found out she was the Saviour.”

“I knew she was the Saviour.” Regina said slowly, disbelieving.

“Yes. But you had already bonded with Henry, and you decided you weren’t going to let that bother you, or let the worry hang over you. So you made yourself forget. So you see? You were already looking for a way out of the darkness long before the curse broke. Certainly, it took some time for you to find your footing again after it broke and the town didn’t trust you, but your way out of darkness started with your son. He has done as much - if not more - than Robin to help you find your way.”

“Like Snow, he refused to give up on me.”

“He’s a great boy. And he’ll be a great man. But I don’t have to tell you that, you know that already. Brave. Fearless. He’s got your most heroic qualities and the most heroic qualities of his birth family.”

“Is that why he has the Heart of the Truest Believer? And why he’s the Author?”

“It could be. He is, in many ways, more powerful than everyone else in your magical town. He’s going to do great things. And he has always believed in you. Even when the chips are down, he knows that you’ll do the right thing. Even if it hurts you to do it. He knows you’re a hero.”

Regina was sure that there was a deeper meaning beneath Artemis’ words, from the look that she was giving Regina, but she couldn’t figure out what precisely that meaning was. Maybe she didn’t have to understand it yet? Maybe it would only be something that would become relevant later on?

But Artemis definitely knew more than she was letting on.


	25. Artemis, Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In her search for Regina's heart, Zelena comes across someone in desperate need of her help.

Regina thought on what Artemis had said, but she couldn’t think of what she could be referring to. This was the second time one of the gods had mentioned Henry and she knew there was an ulterior motive or message behind it. First Ares had said that Henry was off-limits for his challenge because his mother Hera had decreed it, and now Artemis was making some sort of inference that she did not yet understand.

Henry would be showing up in Olympus, Regina was certain of that. The only question was when and how.

But for the time being, all she could do was watch and wait and hope that Zelena would return with her heart. She turned her attention back to the portal-mirror.

_Zelena tripped and stumbled her way through the forest, looking for animals that would probably flee at the sounds of her footsteps anyway. This was pointless, she could never get close enough to a stag like this, could she?_

_She sighed and waved her hand, conjuring a broom. She got on it and slowly hovered into the air, flying about ten feet above the ground - far enough up that she didn’t make a sound on ground level, but not so high that she would run into the tree branches that she could see above her. She worried that light would frighten off any creatures, and thus had to rely on her night vision to see anything, but she had sharp eyesight and didn’t worry. If there was a stag, she would see it._

_Zelena soared along under the trees for what felt like hours, searching to and fro for a stag, but seeing none. She saw no animals at all, and started to worry and panic. Where were they all? Was the sound of her broom even louder than her footsteps? Couldn’t be. Or was Artemis purposefully keeping the animals out of range? But what purpose would that serve?_

_Suddenly, a loud wail sounded through the air and she almost fell off her broom. Something was out there. And that something sounded like it was in pain. Healing wounded woodland creatures wasn’t her job description, but Artemis would appreciate it anyway, right? Unless it was a trick, a trick to distract her from her job. What was her job again? Right, Regina’s heart._

_Well, the injured animal could be a stag, right? So wouldn’t hurt to look into it in either case. Zelena directed her broom in the direction of the wail, watching carefully for any sign of the animal._

_A few minutes and another wail later, Zelena slowly soared into the clearing that the sound was coming from. As she floated to the ground, her heart sank._

_It wasn’t a stag. But that wasn’t why she was worried or sad. It was what she saw that made her heart clench in sorrow._

_There was an injured deer - a doe by the look of it - lying on her side in the clearing, breathing in bad shape. And next to her - a small fawn. It was the fawn making the cries. She heard it now, making quiet crying noises, and every once in awhile there would be the very loud one that would sound throughout the forest. Something - or someone - had injured the fawn’s mother, and now the poor baby would be all alone._

_Unless Zelena could do something about it. Could she? Did she still have magic? She had conjured the broomstick, and been able to fly, but… would her powers extend to healing? She had healed woodland creatures before, as a child, but not any as big as a deer. Birds, squirrels, even a rabbit once (much to the anger of her father, who had wanted it for dinner), but that had been a long time ago. She hadn’t been near any animals except for her flying monkeys in many years now. Would they still accept her? Animals were some of the first to fear dark magic, as if by instinct._

_She understood now that her magic had not been wicked when she was a child - that was just what her father had said. Her magic had only turned dark when she had. When she had embraced darkness and envy. Before that, it had been good. Could it be good again? Could she help this doe? Perhaps the doe had a mate, a stag, who might be the one guarding Regina’s heart? She could only try and hope that it was the right thing to do._

_Zelena made her broomstick disappear, and slowly advanced towards the doe and her fawn. The fawn looked up at her in fear, but wouldn’t budge from his mother’s side. He let out another cry, but it sounded different this time - pleading, perhaps, hoping that she could help?_

_“I’ll try to help your mother.” Zelena cooed. It probably helped that she was in her teenage form, rather than an adult in her more intimidating outfits. The fawn seemed willing to trust her at least, even if he was frightened._

_Zelena crouched down on the ground next to the doe, whose breathing was getting more and more laboured as seconds ticked away. There was a long gash in her side that was bleeding profusely. Was it a wolf that had done this to her? Or something else? It looked too perfect to be a wolf attack, besides, the wolves would have stayed to eat. The wound looked like it had been done by a knife._

_Zelena’s fear rose, realizing she wasn’t alone in this dark forest. There was another human - or human-like at least - being in here. Who might wish to cause her harm at some point, but she was immortal right now, so she pushed that worry away and focused back on the doe._

_She hovered her hands over the wound, much like she had when she had been healing Regina. Both when they were children, and just now when Regina had been recovering after going through Ares’ realm. Her magic hadn’t wanted to help much after Ares, but what she had understood from Regina was that it was her body’s job to work through the injuries and healing. And she seemed to have done well. Regina was better at healing magic then she gave herself credit for, and far better than Zelena was._

_But Regina wasn’t here to heal the doe. Only Zelena could do it. And she would. She concentrated, pouring healing energy through her hands into the wound, willing it to stitch up, willing the blood in the doe’s system to revitalize and regenerate, willing her to be healthy and hale. She felt her energy ebb and ebb through, and then she slowly saw the gash start to stitch itself up. The doe’s breathing evened out, becoming stronger and steadier._

_As the last edge of the gash healed over, Zelena dropped her hands, breathing hard, feeling the energy of what that took out of her. She reached her hand out slowly to the doe’s snout, sighing in relief when the doe let her touch her, and she stroked it gently. The fawn squeaked in joy and came up to snuggle between Zelena and his mother, slipping his snout under Zelena’s other hand and curling up next to his mother, who was healed but still weak and needed rest._

_“There you go, little one. Mother’s all better.”_

_A branch cracked behind them. Then another one. And another. Zelena looked up and around, seeing what was making the noise. Looming in front of her, she saw a white wolf, with one black eye and one red eye. She moved into a protective stance over the deer, and then turned to see what was behind her._

_A tall man with brown hair and a piercing gaze stood over her. It was Graham, the Huntsman from the Enchanted Forest. The one who Regina had imprisoned and enslaved. The one who had taken her heart._

_“Hello, Zelena.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Zelena healed Bambi's mother :) But now things are about to get more serious for the wicked sister... what will Graham have to say to Zelena? Will he throw a wrench in her ability to find Regina's heart? We'll find out next week!


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